My Life Right Now

December 2, 2019

Whooo! It's been a long time.

This time around, I'm a sophomore. But this year I feel a little more lonelier. I'm not entirely sure why but I think it's because I haven't made new substantial friends. Except Stephanie of course.

Stephanie is so cool. She's really cool all the time so she looks like she's high. She real sporty too. She's doing golf right now, which I still count as a sport. Soon she'll be swimming. She's a dumdum sometimes but that's okay. She's got me. Which isn't much of an upgrade but it's better than nothing.

I'm still happily with my boyfriend, Chen. My depression had gotten better. I'm more happy now but I am also more irritable. I miss him more than a drowning man misses air. I haven't seen him in over a month. I mean I have but it was an extremely short period of time. I just want forever cuddles. We have had little bumps in the road. To be honest, I feel like most of them are caused by me and I'd gladly take full responsibility. The most recent one was when I was being a little too egotistical and was starting to sound like I wanted his life to revolve around mine. I soon realized this and immediately stopped. Another one was just a small offense when I started making weird poses for my pictures. I love taking weird poses. It makes me feel more like me. Chen told me to stop and I defended immediately but I don't think he understands that it's a part of me. I know he wouldn't break up with me because I make weird poses. It's just it's a part that I genuinely love about myself —something that doesn't happen a lot.

Another thing that happened so far was that I got into a competitive dance crew! It's called Flow Alliance. My new Fresh Audio Mindz coach, Chio—so nicknamed as Cochio, said that there were auditions for a competitive dance crew and that if we wanted to go, he could take us. So I contemplated and let that suggestion mull over my brain and I wanted to audition. Kyle was also in FAM (Fresh Audio Mindz) and I urge him to join not only FAM but to join me as well to audition for Flow Alliance. He was hesitant but curious. We auditioned and later learned that only fifteen and up could join so Kyle bring fourteen couldn't be in Flow Alliance, I mean he could've if he wowed then people holding the auditions. Then again I had an unfair advantage against Kyle despite already being older than him. I had more experience than he did. He really just got back into urban hip hop after lightly grazing it in third grade. Then again my "advantage" wasn't much of an advantage. I had one-year worth of experience. Technically, six and a half not counting the summer since I wasn't that focused on dancing.

Speaking of summer I didn't get the job but that's alright I got to speed most of my time with my newborn cousin, Atlas. She's so frickin adorable and her eyes are sooo brown.

Being a part of Flow Alliance has made realize that I don't really know who I am without school. With Flow Alliance I will find myself.

Also another booster is that I get to travel around the nation for competitions. Downside though is that this crew is going to be a one time thing so it's not hoping to explode like Jabberwockeez or Kinjas. However I'm okay with that. It's a great opportunity to experience what is like being in a competitive dance crew.

Looking at the big picture now, it's mind boggling how quickly my dancing career's gone, at such a young age too. Six and a half months of urban hip hop dancing and actually being a part of a competitive dance crew within the span of a year. That's a little overwhelming.

Good luck in life Loves