Undercover (Larry Stylinson)

37. filled up

"I think I love you."

The words seemed to bounce of the walls and into Harry's chest, causing his heartbeat to triple and his breathing to catch.

Was this actually happening?

Louis, the one who pursued him, only to push him away. Louis, the one who was so broken on the inside that he was jealous of Niall's illness. Louis, the one who just moments ago admitted to hating every inch of himself.

He loved him. He loved Harry. And that was so overwhelming and confusing and complicated. But it was also so beautiful and Harry couldn't help but say it back, his mouth blurting out the same words seconds after Louis said them.

"I think I love you too."

They kissed then. Their lips connecting, bodies intertwining like two tree trunks that grew twisted together. They were in the middle of a dirty, rundown public bathroom at an outdoor park. But they ignored the squishy texture beneath their feet and the rancid smell in the air and just focused on each other. On the emotions they were sharing, on the relationship they were creating.

Because they were creating one. Maybe it wasn't perfect. Maybe it wasn't even functional. But it was theirs. It was Harry's and Louis' and they shared those feelings for each other. In that moment it didn't matter that Harry drank himself into a near coma each night. It didn't matter that Louis was just on his knees, forcing himself to vomit just a few minutes prior. Yes, those things were important. Yes, they would have to be dealt with - and they would be.

Just not now, not here. Louis was still seated on the sink and Harry lifted him up, running his hands passionately down his shoulder blades and to the small of his back.

"I'm so glad we met," Harry breathed between kisses. He clenched Louis' thighs tightly, making sure he wouldn't fall.

"Me too," Louis replied, a small moan escaping his lips as Harry sucked on the bulging vein in his neck.

Panting, Harry set Louis down and he stood next to him, looking up into his big green eyes. Harry parted his lips, unsure what to do, what to say.

Where did they go from here?

"That was incredible," Louis said, nearly whispering.

"It was," Harry replied, taking Louis' hand in his own. "You're incredible."

Louis smirked and blushed a bit. "So are you still mad at me?"

"I was never mad, love," Harry said. They began to walk out of the bathroom, hand in hand. Somehow, they felt different as they make their way back to the parking lot. Like a weight had been lifted off of them and replaced by something lighter, freer.

"You were," Louis said as they reached the car. "Said you were gonna call Liam... and oh, I took your phone." He blushed and handed it back to Harry. "Here."

"Thanks," Harry replied. He looked down at Louis, taking in his features as if for the first time. His blue eyes shined brightly beneath the afternoon sun and his tiny nose peaked out from beneath the sleeve of his hoodie, which he was currently chewing on.

Behind the sleeve hid Louis' chiseled jaw and perfectly sculpted stubble. The thin lips that Harry could never seem to pry himself away from. His teeth which were almost perfect, save for a jagged angle on one of his front middle teeth.

Harry knew he had to do something. As much as he wanted to stand there and look at his beautiful boyfriend all day and take him kayaking and shower him with compliments, he knew things were much more complicated than that. He knew Louis needed help. And by letting him get away with what he did in the bathroom, he would only be enabling him.