Undercover (Larry Stylinson)

40. help me help you

"Hi Louis. I'm Dr. Ross."

The therapist's voice was high pitched, but friendly. Louis flashed her a taught smile as he entered the room and took a seat on the red chair in front of her desk.

"Hey," he said weakly.

"I can tell you're nervous. Have you been to therapy before?" she asked, readjusting her glasses. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun and she wore a black blazer with a matching skirt. To Louis, she looked more like a businesswoman than a therapist. But what did he know?

"Yeah, I've been," Louis replied, fidgeting with his hands.

"Okay, well this is going to be a lot different. Because I'm a nutritionist and a therapist. So we're going to talk about what's going on in your head and then we're going to come up with a meal plan so that you can follow it," she explained. "Sound good?"

"Mhm," Louis replied. "Yeah."

"Okay, so what brings in you in today? Do you mind talking a bit about your history?"

Louis bit his lip. He had done this before with his previous therapist, but it was never easy. His hands felt sweaty just thinking about it and his heart was beating faster with each passing second.

"I, um... can my boyfriend come in," he squeaked. "For support."

"That's fine," she replied.

Rushing out into the hallway, Louis called for Harry who was seated outside in the waiting room. "Haz, I'm really freaking out," he said, wiping the sweat of his brow. "Can you come in with me?"

"Yea, babe, will that help you?" Harry asked. He stood up quickly, wrapping Louis is a gentle hug.

Louis hugged him back and nodded. Then, the two reentered the room together.

"Hello, there," Dr. Ross said.

"Hi," Harry said with a quick wave.

"So we were getting to your history," she repeated.

Louis nodded and looked at Harry, as if he had the answers. Harry smiled in response, trying to assure him he could do it.

"Right, so I.... um, have some issues eating," Lou began.

"What kind of issues?" Dr. Ross asked.

"Um... not eating enough. And also eating too much. And throwing up," he replied quietly.

"Okay, do you care to elaborate?" she asked. "How often do you throw up?"

"Um... it depends," Louis shrugged.

"Why do you throw up?"

"Ummm, it also depends."

"Well give me some reasons."

"When I've eaten too much. Usually after a week of starving, I'll binge and feel really guilty and um, make myself sick. Or, lately, I've been eating normally and I just can't bare being full so I, um, I do it then too."

"Okay. So you don't like feeling full?"

"No."

"Why?"

"It makes me feel fat."

"Do you think you're fat?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I just am... I weigh a lot. I have this gross stomach and thighs and love handles."

"But you're not overweight, Louis."