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III

ENTRY 1.III: JUNGKOOK
September 2010: 00:37
Since figuring out his hidden talent of singing, that's all that Jungkook spent his time doing for a while. He practiced all day and all night whenever he had the chance, trying as hard as he possibly could not to cheat. It was a difficult thing to overcome, as if his voice split was a natural instinct that he never knew about. Even so, he still dedicated every spare moment to practicing and trying to do so without revealing the hidden, yet powerful, voice that only he knew he possessed. This, over time, he'd gotten extremely good at hiding, eventually doing it without trying. Having done this for almost a year now, his regular voice even sounded surreal. He'd just gotten that good after all that practicing. For someone his age especially, it was most definitely a beautiful thing to hear. He was proud of himself, embracing this new talent he could now properly say that he had.

His family eventually learned of this dedication and gave him overwhelming support, and to Jungkook's surprise, taking up this talent seemed to cover up his bad temper, despite the constant headaches he still had. This made him wonder about his permanent companion's lifestyle even more. He had thought that his headaches arose from rage, yet they were still occurring even without any of it. If it wasn't feeding on this rage as he'd always thought it was, he would ask himself, then what was it feeding off of?

Jungkook's dream that night started with the usual endless darkness, which he'd gotten used to having seen it so many times now. It seemed different this time, though. The darkness around him seemed...darker than usual. He didn't know why or how he was able to make that assumption. Maybe it was because his past fear of the dark had suddenly been reactivated, though he'd just recently gotten rid of it. He didn't know.

Jungkook's head began aching, unsure of what was going on.

It's all just a dream...

The spirit's silhouette was always visible through the darkness in his dreams, it's shadowy figure never blending into the shade surrounding the two. Instead, it stood out, always looking significantly darker than what was around them. Jungkook had taught himself never to cower from the spirit while in his dreams, telling himself to remember that none of it was real.

Even if it started lifting him up in the air and choking him.

It was still far away from him, yet it was doing it anyway in an almost effortless fashion. Jungkook's throat burned, and he struggled to get any air through to his lungs. It felt as if a raging inferno had just been ignited inside the very depths of his throat, and it wasn't stopping. This pain was almost worse than what it felt like when he got his wings, yet again bringing about a feeling of nausea. Unlike last time, his stomach never gave way, making the situation even more excruciating than it already was. He smelled blood, too, but he had no idea where it was coming from.

What is it doing to me?

The pain eventually became worse than what he'd gone through in the past; a yell escaped Jungkook's mouth.

The only problem was that no sound was heard.

He and the spirit were now eye-to-eye, not surprised to again see it taking the form of Jungkook himself. His silence, the smell of blood, the burning sensation in his throat. He knew exactly what had just happened.

The spirit had just ripped out his vocal cords.

Figuring that out made his nausea worsen, this time allowing his stomach to give in, sending the vomit through the hollow hole in his throat instead of his mouth. He gagged repeatedly in disgust, causing blood to drip out of his mouth.

"...why?" Jungkook asked his spirit telepathically, unable to say anything else.

It smiled back at him, its eyes gleaming red through the darkness.

"This is only the beginning, my friend."

———————

Jungkook sat up in his bed screaming and crying with sweat gleaming on his face and his wings revealed. He hid them immediately after he realized they were out, fearing their presence rather than enjoying them like he usually did. The only thing that he was happy about at that moment was that he was no longer silenced, his scream most certainly audible through the quiet of his room.

His spirit was him. If it could do what it just did, rip out someone vocal cords as easily as it seemed, then that meant that he could to it, too. He could do so all too easily.

This was when Jungkook developed a new fear that would last for what seemed like forever.

He was afraid of himself.

Jungkook's headache worsened, bringing himself to find the answer to his question of why his headaches were still continuing even without his past rage. He knew what it was feeding off of.

It had been feeding off of his fear this entire time.