everyone's in their sophomore year in high school fyi (except some that i'll say beforehand)
annie leblanc pov:
hi, i'm annie leblanc. short for, julianna grace leblanc.
i'm not your ordinary typical teen who goes out to parties or goes out with friends.
no.
instead i'm inside my room, studying, doing homework, reading, and especially, writing. see, my family isn't a typical family either.
i live with my dad. my mom died in a car accident along with my two siblings, hayley and caleb, marking 3 years next month. my dad has been in deep depression since. he drinks, does drugs, gets very aggressive, and you can guess it, he abuses me. he uses his strength and power on me to let out his anger and sadness. this is why i'm such a 'nerd'. i don't want to become my father. i want to be long gone from him. i have many scars, bruises, cuts, you name it, i can guarantee that i have it. i've had black eyes and fractured bones, even some bones that were on the verge of breaking. it usually happens during the weekend,you know, the abuse. he's always gone during the week, probably messing around then gets mad when he comes home so he puts it all on me. it's sucks but i've gotten use to it, to the point where i do nothing about it and just let it happen. i miss mom. i miss hayley. i miss caleb. i have absolutely, no one.
i have no friends. no one to talk to during class, no one to gossip about problems or rumors, no one to be there for me and me to them, no one to study with, no one to call or text whenever i'm bored and need to leave the house. no one to hang out with or complain about how hard a test was or the loads of homework we get in school.
none of that. but that's all i wish for. a friend. one single friend to tell my whole life story to. to catch up on how our lives been or how it was.
i'm alone most of my time, if not alone i'm working. i miss some meals to save money to get out of this house, for clothes, school supplies, shoes, everything. my life is a mess. no one would want a person like me in there lives, if someone did then it would've already happened.
school. school is the only place where i can actually get out of the house. a place where i'm surrounded with people who probably have such an amazing life. the kind of life i wish i had.
•••
monday / october 15
it's school time. the day i've been waiting for this whole weekend.
this weekend was typical, but worse. i ended up with a black eye with small cuts on my face. he had a knife this weekend. i probably sound so calm but it's because he has done it before. it doesn't mean it's okay but it means i wasn't as scared. mostly because last time he actually stabbed me and this time he just left me a huge cut from one side of my stomach to the other. it hurt like a bitch. i cleaned it as best i could but it's definitely going to be on me for the rest of my life, if not then just until i'm 30ish. he didn't break any of my bones though which is a plus since i have no medical insurance anymore. once my dad stopped working he stopped caring. he's in huge debt with the house he stopped paying for a couple months ago when some people stopped buying drugs from him. anyways enough of him. i have to get to school.
i woke up late, again. it was already 8:15 when i finished getting ready. i was already late so i just walked at the same speed as always.
i finally got to school at 8:30. i had makeup cover my black eye and my little cuts which were still visible up close. even though i had makeup cover my eye, i still put on a pair of sunglasses. once i got inside my classroom, my teacher had already started lecture.
(t: teacher | a: annie)
t: ms. leblanc, nice of you to join us today. what's the reason for your tarde?
a: woke up late.
t: luckily you only have two tardes so no saturday school or detention. one more and you will for sure get one. now, sit.
all i did was nod and sat at my seat and yes i know, school just started in august and now i have 2 tardes in the first 2 and 1/2 months of school. that class flew by and now it's 4th period, the class right before lunch. i hate lunch and i'll tell you why later.
4th period i have math. the easiest class EVER. you can even say i'd call it, light work. yeah, yeah, i know, i know. i'm a nerd and only 'cool kids' could say that but what can i say? it is light work. (light work means easy)
we got a new seating chart today. the teacher told me that she put me with students who have been struggling in this class for the past couple weeks and she needed my help. i didn't really mind since i'm always bored out of my mind in that class. ones name is connor, the other is jayden and the last one is named, carson. all three of them were popular so i was surprised that out of the whole class, them three were struggling the most. they tried starting conversation with me but i didn't respond to anything they'd say so instead, they'd copy me. i let them since it was only class work but only because this was the only day i was going to let them.
class was over and i was leaving the room until i bumped into someone on my way out.
a: i'm so sorry!
i fixed my sunglasses that almost fell off when i bumped this person.
??: don't be sorry, it was my fault
a: no, i wasn't paying attention to my surroundings
??: me either •laughs•
a: well, i got to get going
??: to your friends?
a: uh, yeah... well bye, sorry once again!
??: wait! what's your name!
i didn't stop to answer, i just walked to my locker. plus, i'm pretty sure he's a jock so he wouldn't have cared if i did or didn't.
why did he want my name to begin with? why did he want to know? why i'm i thinking too much about this? it's not like i care! ughh i just want to get lunch over with.
i didn't eat, i didn't sit at a table. instead i went outside. i sat next to a tree at the back of the school. i was listening to music on my phone with my earphones while writing.
'writing what?' you may ask. my life. my pain, my dreams, my emotions, what happened this weekend, everything. i have so much more notebooks filled up with the past three years since my mothers and siblings passing. i was writing about this weekend.
"friday night. he had just arrived home. angry like usual. i was in my room at the time. he closed the front door, enough so i could hear the loud 'bang!' from my room. i knew he wanted me to hear that, that's why he did that. he then began to scream. screaming my name. 'JULIANNA! JULIANNA!' i just had thoughts filling my head of what he could possibly do to me this time.
i went downstairs to see him in the kitchen pulling out a knife from the cabinet. 'you know how trashy you are? how worthless you could be most of the time? you should've died, not them. not your brother or your sister or your mother. you.' he told me.
i was fighting back my tears because if he saw a tear fall down my cheek that means he knows he had won and would hurt me way more. i didn't want to let that happen. i didn't say anything. i stood there until he came closer. step by step, talking of how much he hates me, how much fault i have for the death of my mother and siblings. my brain was contradicting whether it was my fault or not but of course it wasn't. it was just my father trying to mess with me and get inside my head. one more step and that's when he striked. one punch in the stomach after another after another. one more to left side of my stomach to one on my eye leaving my eye red. i was on the floor while he went over to the kitchen cabinet and grab the knife. 'go to hell' with that he made a slash on my stomach. he left me on the floor and left. left to god knows where. the floor started filling a little with blood. after seeing how doctors fix up cuts like these, i knew how to get better with a kit i had bought a couple weeks ago just in case of anything..."
i stopped there because i felt someone tap my shoulder.
it was the boy that i bumped in to earlier.
??: hey
a: hi...
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