the new beginning <3
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dear self,
a fresh start, a fresh everything. it's summer and i haven't written a lot in this old thing for months now. and let me catch you up on everything.
i got a new apartment after i had enough of my father's abuse and enough money (2 months after that kiss with hayden), he was so close to killing me that i stopped sleeping at night. i moved out and he's out of my life. i live in an affordable apartment for the time being.
i have two jobs and a part time job.one as a cashier at a local grocery store which i only work at on saturday and sunday mornings. my other job is being a waitress at a restaurant called 'pops place' that is a about 45 minutes walking distance from my apartment and since i don't have a car, i have to walk. i work as waitress every monday, wednesday, thursday (4:30-8:00), sometimes friday nights (7:00-11:00) which i work if i need the extra cash, and my part time job as an assistant for a newspaper article writer on sunday afternoons. its everything i have to do if i want the money for rent, food, clothing, and college savings. i only have two years left and i'm off.
johnny and i warmed up to each other and decided that being best friends is something we'll always be. of course i'll always be great-full of everything he did for me. he's a good guy. the first month was pretty awkward between us since i kissed both his best friend and him that same night which i'll explain what had happened. kenzie likes him and now, they're both i guess talking which is pretty cool!
hayden and i were rough at the beginning, i had to open up to him about...literally everything. it was hard. we had a few arguments but nothing extremely serious. like there was this one incident...
flashback
"hayden just sit down..."
"sit down? and what?"
i just looked at him
"hm? ignore it? pretend like the person i adore the most, gets hit—"
"got."
i said softly, pausing him from his sentence
he walked back and forth with his right hand on the back of his head. he then looks up at me and came closer.
"i just...i just cant believe i didn't see it sooner...i was never there for you...i could've stopped it."
he went on his knees, resting his arms on my lap while i was sitting down on the edge of my bed.
"how could you? i never told anyone. no one knew"
"why?..."
"why what?"
"why would he...um"
his voice was low, almost wanting to cry
"i can't tell you that when i don't even know..."
i told him in basically a whisper. he looked up at me with watery eyes.
"but hey, look. i'm still alive right? i'm still here, with you"
"all those accidents that happened...the bruises, the cuts..."
he got up
"y-your neck..."
i looked at him
"that was him wasn't it?"
i looked down, i really didn't want to cry which is what i was about to do
"it was huh? oh my gosh, oh my gosh!"
"hayd—"
"no, please just...listen to me for one moment"
i sat their in silence
well, until my thoughts of that incident and writing were interrupted by a phone call. it was jayden
"hey jay!"
"hey anns! kenz and i were wondering if you'd join us on our little road trip leaving this weekend! of course hayden, johnny, and armani are coming along. you in?"
you may be wondering, who's armani? well, his jayden's new boyfriend since 2 months ago. her and carson ended when he moved across the country since his dad got a way better job offer. armani came to our school this year too, he was the new boy for awhile and definitely caught jayden's eye.
"yeah, i'm down"
"awesome! we're using my moms old van since it'll hold all of our stuff and all of us."
"how long is the road trip gonna last?"
"well seeming how kenzie and johnny only have this week of summer school...a week, leaving saturday morning, coming back next sunday afternoon"
"thanks, it's going to be so much fun!"
"yeah! so pack pack pack!"
"slow down, we still got 2 days, it's only wednesday"
"always gotta be prepared!"
i laughed
"let's go out later, get a tan or something"
"most definitely jay"
"alright, love you"
"love you too, bye"
we both hung up and i went back to writing.
see those are the kind of phone calls i adore for some odd reason. life is too short.
my life has finally really taken a turn. i'm happy, like genuinely. times like this is where i forget about my past, my family, for just moments. times like this is where i just...live.
well i've decided this is a good time to go shower and take a nap. i'll continue with the story later, it's a long one. get some popcorn because it's about to get interesting...or will it just end in an ongoing question of 'why?'
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5 votes & i'll post another chapter!
short but complete! 💞
