"she will end up with someone new,
it'll break your heart and you'd just wish
she would've stayed with you"
•••
annie's pov
i was shocked.
terrified.
i didn't know what to do,
or what to say in that moment.
my whole world was spinning as i looked at hayden, not knowing what to do next. i hung up as i received a message from 'laur 💘' with the directions to the hospital.
"what's wrong anns? who was that?"
"i-it was..." i looked down and then back up meeting his eyes
"it was lauren..."
"what did she say?"
i swallowed my saliva, still in shock
"j-john...h-he's...awake"
-
we rushed to the hospital and up to his room number level. we see everyone. jayden, carson, conner, lauren, johnny's family, and even kenzie. they were all in the waiting room, pacing around as lauren stopped and looked at me. she embraced me into her arms and whispers into my ear
"he's finally awake..."
i felt her smile as i hugged her back and whispered back
"i know..."
i smiled as a couple tears escaped my eyes.
we let go as i had my hands placed on each of her shoulders.
"c-can i see him?..." i asked softly
"as soon as the doctors finish...of course"
she smiled. i haven't seen him since that day. suddenly, everything came back from that day. breaking me.
"excuse me" i told her as i gave a slight smile and turn around, walking out into the hall, sitting down at a bench next to the water fountain. i rest my elbows on my thighs, my head in my hands, and let the tears flow out as i began to have flashbacks of running, trying to find which hospital they took him. but nothing. no one told me anything. if he was okay, how he was, what was happening to him. nothing. but yet, i still blame myself for not trying every single day since and i'll continue to blame myself when i could've done so much more.
-
a few seconds later i felt a hand get placed on my shoulder, making me look up. i met his eyes and looked down. what was i going to do? i started gaining feelings for hayden but now...how do i feel? the moment i heard he was awake i didn't know what to do. do i still like johnny the way i used to or do i not? do i like hayden still? do i like him more than johnny or do i like johnny more than hayden...? my thoughts were interrupted by an arm wrapping around me.
"it's okay to...feel this way. confused, wondering...how you feel"
i sat there silent
"you're feelings towards me probably changed but...i understand. i'll support you on whatever. i...i just don't want to lose you"
"you'll never lose me"
i look up at him as he smiles and pulls me back into his arms. i felt safe. but how am i suppose to feel?...
-
"annie, hayden. i've been looking all over for you guys"
lauren looked at us as she came closer. hayden and i stood up and walked up to her.
"doctors said we could see him now"
lauren took us to his room as i looked from the window, he was awake. smiling, talking to his parents. my emotions where everywhere and i didn't know what to do. i went back to the waiting room and placed my hands on my face. i felt...destroyed, that i destroyed everything.
i'm not ready.
i'm not prepared,
physically,
nor
emotionally,
nor
mentally.
i can't.
not now.
why? i still don't know.
"j-jay, let laur know i'm not ready at this moment...i-i got to go"
"are you okay anns? talk to me"
"i-i-i"
i started breathing heavily and i could control it. jayden wrapped her arm around me as i bursted into millions of tears. she took me into the bathroom and locked the door.
"anns please calm down"
"i-i"
i wasn't able to speak, no words would come out.
"breathe, ready i'm going to count to 5. breathe in and out"
i breathed in
"1...2...3...4...5..."
then out.
"are you okay? just calm down. here's some water."
she takes out a water bottle out of her bag purse and hands it to me. i opened it and drank a bit. i never imagined my birthday to end up like this. not one bit. but is is what it is, i guess.
"now, wanna tell me what's wrong?"
i looked at her
"i would tell you...but i don't even know myself"
she looked at me for a few seconds and then pulled me into a hug.
"i'm a mess..."
i whispered as a tear escaped my eye.
"everything will get better...whatever it is. for now, i'll take you home."
"thank you...so much"
-
jayden drove me home, she was going back to the hospital after dropping me off. i told her to tell hayden i went home and i told her to call or text me if johnny ever asks for me but for now, i'm just going to stay at my quiet house this weekend, no father around, no one to interrupt my thoughts, just an alone me, something i should always do so that i don't hurt the people around me.
i'm better off alone
or do i?
and just as i thought there was no one home, there he was. the monster who made me into this messed up person i am. home already. just as i thought this was the best birthday, turned into the most terrifying night of my life.
"you didn't think i'd miss my baby's birthday did you?"
he smirked at me and shut the front door.
i'll never forget the next moments that happened.
•••
(not pre-read)
sorry for such a shot chapter :(
i've been super busy like always but always here's another late night one lol since this is the only time i have to post/write a chapter. lowkey don't like this but oh well.
