Well Dunn

Part 26

I look at his eyes. Slowly understanding all he just said. I hug him. Hug him. Hug him. Tight. Tight.

He smiles and add " So we are done with self confidence issues ? "

I smile, huge smile and add " If you need me. I'm here for you too okay ? It's always all about me not enough about you. "

He laughs " Maybe because I'm not a drama Queen "

I open my mouth and punch him " So I'm a drama queen now ? "

He says " shut up and put the music on "

I put the music on. We sing. And he parks the car next to the docks.

" let's hang next to the docks "

" It's 11 pm ! Tomorrow we have class ! "
" Who cares ? Because for your information I don't ! "

I followed him and we grabbed some stuff to eat. Then we went to the docks and we took some pictures and we laughed a bit. Well we spent a good evening. All the eating and laughing made me forget about the fact that I was attracted to him.

He drove me home and here I am now. In my bed. Thinking about this. RED ALERT ! I WAS ATTRACTED TO DEVESH. It feels a bit like incest. I couldn't think of him that way... We were based on the " best friend " thing ... And furthermore all the time he acts like " big brother " stuff... So I guess he is just a best friend. And this attraction means nothing I mean, when I first met him I felt it too and it get away as fast as it came. So, no need to worry I guess.

Days passed by. Routine I guess. School. Home. Tv shows. Music. tumblr. Rides with Devesh. I even started to dont care about Abel, Kemi,Sadie. The Sam incident ? We never talked about it again. That's what I like about guys to be honest. They move on. So did I.

It's now a Friday night, after a long rainy day. I m lying in bed, reading a fanfic and I m feeling so comfortable listening to the rain knocking at my windows. My mom knocks at my door.

" Jourdan, a friend of yours wants to see you downstairs . "

Who could it be ? If it was Sadie she would have said Sadie. If it was Devesh she would have Devesh.

I walk downstairs and I see Kemi. Wet. Totally wet. She is looking at me. She doesn't talk. She is freezing. Mom asks if she should prepare some tea. I say that she doesn't have to.

I look at Kemi. She looks lost. I've never seen her this way. She says " Jourdan, can I talk to you ? "

" That is what we are doing no ? "

She whispers " privately "

I ask her to follow me upstairs. We go in my room. She is looking at everything widely. Well yeah I'm not rich. That's called life. She is standing in front of me while I'm sat on my bed.

She looks at me for a few seconds and then she bursts in tears. Kemi. Crying. Is that real life ?

" Jourdan I need you. "

Since when do Kemi needs people ? She never needed anyone and she always made it clear. All independent and everything.

She says " Jourdan, I really need your help, everything is so messed up. "

" I don't get it. You have a lot of friends. All the people at your parties. You have Devesh. You have Abel. Why come to me ? "

" listen Jourdan, I am sorry. Really so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you for the other night. I tried to make it up to you. Abel and I have always been friends. I admit that I know you liked him so what I've done was bitchy. I have to tell you that I liked him too. In a way. In a certain way. It was a mistake. A huge mistake. I am sorry. "

She breathes and shakes a bit.

" really. Sorry. What we had it was great and I messed it up... I miss us. Us four. Would you mind come back ? "

" so you can stab me in the back ?"

" I hope that you will be able to forgive me when you'll be ready. Don't blame Abel. He didn't know. But that's not the only reason why I came. " She is freezing.

" So why are you here ? "

" my dad. "

She bursts out in tears.

" my dad is back. He was drinking. He was drunk. He hit me. I fear him. I'm afraid of him. I always been. "

What ?

" is that true ? "

" I walk all that way from home to find someone who'll be able to listen to me but if you think that I lie I can go. Don't bother. " she says as she heads to the door.

" stop. Give me your coat. You got to be fucking freezing. "

She takes off her coat. I hand her some tissues and invite her to sit.

She doesn't talk anymore. I'm confused. She shows me her neck, I can see bruises. She shows me her ankles I can see bruises there too.
She just says " Am I still lying now ? "

" you're not going home tonight. "

She cries, mascara fading away, and her hands scrolling down her braids " my own dad. Why would he do that to me ? I don't get it. I just don't. "

I take her in my arms and whisper " he's not here. "

She cries in my arms for a few minutes and then she adds " I know why you know. I remind him of my mother. He never got over her. He doesn't accept the fact that she left us. I remind him of her. So he punishes me for that. When he sees me, he sees pain. And my mother left us you know. She sends a letter from time to time but without her address. So she is still in control of when she can get in touch with us. But what about me, uh ? "

" don't you blame yourself. "

" what if I want to talk her ? But don't worry I don't. I accept the fact that she left. That's why I am this way. You can't count on anyone. I want to be independent. I am. My dad is always in Nigeria for business when he is back he hits me. My mum left us to build a new life I don't know where on Earth. I can't count on them. "

I am speechless.

" But as long as I want to be independent, we all need someone at some time. "

" We do."

" you are my only girl friend. With you i feel a bit like I have a sister. Both black. Both girl. Same age. "

I smile.

" and Abel and Devesh. They are like brother to me. I don't need my parents. They don't need me. I created my own family. "

I smile a bit again and she adds

" My dad might also have beaten me because I lost a lot of money. "

" what do you mean ? " I ask.

" Some guy will help me with my career. He asked for money. "

" but are you insane ??? "

" He knows people in London. People who work in this industry. And I came here to say goodbye too. Because by the end of next week I'm off to London. "

" What ??? " I say, surprise in my voice.

" music is my dream. Here in Bristol I don't have opportunities. X Factor didn't work. In London, I will have plenty. He knows everybody, the money that I gave him. He will use it to tend my flat in London and other stuffs too, like studio renting and everything. This perspective is the only source of positivity in my life. "

" Kemi you are out of your mind. Who the fuck is this guy ? Why are you following him to London ? "

" Because Bristol is hell. "