Well Dunn

Part 20

" I want to stop drinking and smking."

My mouth made an O. Is that the real Sadie ? I mean drinking and smoking and you know drugs sex and rock n roll is like Sadie's anthem. She nodded " I'm done with that."

" Can we know why ?"

" I want to be healthy !"

" What happened to sex drug and rock n roll ?"

" Well rock n roll and sex are good for health. If I have James I'll be healthy !"

" You'll never stop to surprise me." I smirked

" I'm arrived at a point where you know, I have to take care of myself."

" Ok well I hope you'll succeed, I heard it's not easy to stop."

She looked away... " Sometimes you have to."

" From when are you trying to stop ?"

" From now. Buuuut."

" I knew there will be a but !"

" Arghh the waste is a part of me love, do you think I'll drop it so easily ? I have to say goodbye to it. It will be at a party. I want to you know drink and drink and forget and dance and smoke and try some new drugs and just to you know... To go away for a while !"

I nodded. " Kemi always have some party at her place, so at her next party you have to come. Brng James. Bring alcohol. Bring everything. I'll try to get Abel. We ll dance all night. It will be perfect."

" oooooooo, that sounds great, sounds like we have a plan !" She clapped her hands with excitement. We took some stuffs to eat and we talked about everything and anything. Sadie felt asleep. I was the only one up. I put my computer on, I started to write about it. Who do I want to be ? What do I want to become ? I started to write about this essay :

I'm done.

We always want to wait, for a brighter day, for a better moment, for tomorrow. But, I realized that the more we wait, the more things goes away. I now know what I want to become. I want to become the kind of person who does not wait. I want to become the kind of person who acts now. I want to be the girl who always have a smile on her face, no matter what happened in the inside. When I close my eyes and picture a future me, I don't know what is around me. I don't know my future, I would love to write, to become a writer but sometimes things are not that easy. Things don't always come our ways. Should I be what I want to be or what others people want me to be ?

Sometimes I want to become what others wants me to be because I don't want to disappoint them. I know what my parents want for me, can I come to them and tell them that they're wrong ? That it is not what they want ? They will be hurt. Is that the point ? I want to become the kind of person who make the others peole happy. Because I realized that my life is based on other people. It can be friends, it can be family. At the end of the day I realized I am surrounded of people. Those people are my life. I want to make them happy. I want to be there when they want to talk, to laugh, to cry.

Maybe you'll find it weak. You ll think : but she does not have any personal achievements ? I have. I want to see them smile. I took a moment. What do I want to become ? An happy person. How do I become this kind of person ? By making people around me happy.

So here is the point. I want to become their happiness as I realized that their happiness make mine. I am such a cliché but at least I won't be disappointed. At least, I hope so.

I sent it to my teacher and I closed my eyes. I prayed for everything to be alright because at this point I realized that even if things are not always great I have an amazing bestfriend, I have a family. I have people to be happy and to stand for.

So it was now the day, yeah the day of the super dupper paarty !

Kemi was hosting a party to celebrate the fact that she auditioned at X-Factor. I remember this day. It was cool she was so excited and it was only her and me. Abel or Devesh weren't there. She wanted to do it with me, to have a girl moment. It was cool because I learnt a lot about Kemi. She really put all of her hopes on that dream. It's all that she has actually. She doesn't want to do anything else with her life. Unfortunately she didn't get a lot of views on her YouTube video so she decided to try X Factor. She also talk to me about herself. She isn't with the guy of the wedding anymore. She said that it couldn't work between them both. She said that she doesn't care because she now has already a new boyfriend. She even laugh about it. I love how she manages to always have a new boyfriend. She is never single for long. She makes them want her and I don't know how. It amaze me.
She told me a bit about her parents and all of these stuffs. She sung a song by Marina And The Diamonds, Teen Idle. I was the one who picked it.

She was fucking excited and I really hope that she will make it. She did her best but she didn't tell me the result she said that they will call her back in fifteen days and she jumped everywhere saying that we have to celebrate. With Kemi everything is a reason to celebrate and I love that.

Sadie and I were ready for that party. We had so many hopes. We really wanted this party to change our lovelife honestly. She was Pretty. No she was a hottie. Her hair were in a ponytail but not like any ponytail no it was like Iggy Azalea's ponytail. It was a fucking ponytail which moves as she walked. She was wearing a dark blue dress and a pink lipstick. Her pink lipstick made her whole face shining. She was so beautiful. But I noticed that she Lost a lot of weight during the las few months. This dress was really close to her body and it made me realised that she didn't have that ass anymore ... But she didn't care because even if her ass is smaller she will shake it anyway.
She wore heels, man, those heels were fucking high and they were pink too. When Sadie wore pink but almost white She looked great. Actually Sadie always look great but today even if she has lost a lot of weight she was stunning.

The house of Kemi. Damn. Kemi's house seemed bigger than usual. When we arrived in front of her house, they were a lot of people. Everywhere. A lot of skaters. Music was really loud. Everybody has a glass, some people were dancing, some others were smoking, some were kissing, some were skateboarding ... People seemed happy. The moon was full. With Sadie we were smiling to each other.

This party was definitely going to change the game.