Undecided [Interracial]

8. Cake

Blake..... 

"Shhhh just sleep Sophia. No one will hurt you or Jacob."

I finally started drifting to sleep when Sophia's cries woke me up again. She was kicking and sobbing in her dream. She had only calmed down when I woke her up and her big eyes looked up at me and welled up with tears. I pulled her close and whispered that I'm here and nothing's going to happen. She didn't even realized at that moment how close we were or how beautiful she looked with her wet cheeks shining and her big eyes staring up at me. The urge to kiss her was so tempting but I knew way better. Her vulnerability was showing through her eyes and I saw her inch her way closer to me. 

"Sophia we can't" I said. I could see the pain her eyes but it hurt me even more to reject her like that. 

"But I want to Blake." 

If one of us moved we would've of been either hit each other in the face or kissing. It didn't take long for one of us to have our face touching each other. She brought her hands to my chest; her breathing was fanning my face. I look at her now moist lips and I brought my hands up to her lips. I rubbed her bottom lip leaning in brushing my lips against hers.

"Your lips are just as soft as I imagined it would be". 

"So are yours" her voice was so soft and low. Her lips were on mine in seconds and I pulled her on top of me. The kiss was slow and needy from both of us. Her hands traveled all through my hair and down to my torso. My hands went behind her neck and up her nape she let out a soft moan. I smiled against her lips because that was the cutest sound that came out of her mouth. 

Another moan came out but it wasn't hers. She stopped and looked at me with those big hazel eyes horrified. 

"That wasn't me."

"I know it wasn't but that voice sounded so familiar like..."

"Oh gosh Zara" Sophia exclaimed. 

"You can't be fucking serious right now."

Sophia was long ago off me and I was pulling a shirt on to go stop the disturbance. I could only imagine who my sister brought home with her and on top of that making so much damn noise as if nobody else is here.

The shower in her room was turned on and I banged on the door. The person who opened the door was the person I least expected. 


Sophia.....

What the hell just happened? I kissed Blake and he kissed me back. I can't believe I let all this go so far. But it felt so right like I belonged in his arms with my hands running through his hair and his fingers lingering on my skin. I looked at myself and couldn't imagine how terrible I looked to him when he had to change me. I was now wearing a plain white tee that stop mid thigh and a pair of boxers. My hair was up in a messy bun and my makeup completely off. I couldn't help but smile at the fact he did all of that. Something that was a simple routine for me was his routine for the night. It's the little things that he does that makes it so much harder to not notice him or talk to him. He always makes Jacob feel welcome and comfortable but also it's like he has a sixth sense on me. He can tell right away when something isn't sitting right with me. Last night when I saw Antonio I felt like my heart drop to the pits of my stomach. I wouldn't have imagined seeing Antonio there dress the way was dressed and having a business party. I was so close to having a panic attack but Blake was right behind me. Making sure I was okay and helping me to breathe in and out. 

Slowly deep inside I was beginning to see that I really need a man especially for the simple fact that Jacob is getting older and it's only so much I can do as a mother. Soon he'll need a father figure in his life just as he needs one now. I could worry about myself later but Jacob was in more a need than I was. 

Thud thud thud ….

The sound of a body being thrown against the wall was all too familiar. I could hear punches being thrown back and forth. 

"Blake get off of him" Zara screamed. I could hear the pure hurt in her voice. 

I ran out of the room down the hall to where all the noise was coming from. I was greeted to Blake throwing punches at a now bloody face Michael. 

Oh shit! I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Zara was still trying to get Blake off of Michael but seeing that Zara was so much lighter and smaller compared to Blake it made it so much harder. 

I stood there not knowing what to do. Michael had gained enough strength to push Blake off him before Blake could give another blow. Blake was now slouched near the bed that the two had original shared breathing heavily. He's soft hazel eyes were now dark with anger and disgust. 

"You slept with my sister" Blake roared. 

"It wasn't even like that Blake. We had a couple of drinks. I was buzzed and so was I and one thing led to another and I ended up here."

Blake said nothing for a moment. He looked over at a silent crying Zara and back at a bloody nosed Michael. 

"Why do I feel like you’re lying to me? Like this isn't the first time it has happened."

They are and it isn't. 

Nobody said anything. The assumption was answered by the silence in the room.

"I trusted you Michael. Of all people my sister. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're supposed to be my brother, best friend and you’re sleeping with my sister. What was gonna happen after y'all did whatever huh? Were you going to kick her to the side like every other female you've been with.”?

"No" Michael said lowly. 

"Blake stop okay. I care about Michael. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He's different to me. Sophia said you would freak out but I don't care anymore. I don't want this to be a secret anymore. Whether you like it or not I care for Michael."

Blake looked over at me and I automatically felt like a little child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. His emotions were all in his eyes from what I could tell. He was hurt, anger and lost with words.

Thanks a lot Zara. 

"You knew?" A puzzled look was sent my way. I couldn't look at his eyes anymore. I quickly dropped my eyes looking at my toes and how pretty they were against the carpet. 

"Leave her alone man" Michael said from a distance.

"Shut up Michael. You have not a damn thing to say."

"It wasn't my place to say anything. Zara is my best friend so I going out my face and telling you would be breaking our trust to each other."

I couldn't meet his eyes. I was scared to see what other emotions he was showing. 

"Look Blake, I'm sorry I did what I did and that you had to find out like this but what Zara said is right. I have changed. I care about her so much that I scare myself. I want us to be brothers again and to look past this."

I could see that Blake was really upset on how he and Michael were right now and he wished he could change it.

"I need time to think about all this shit" Blake said looking at both Michael and Zara. 
Then his eyes landed on me. Everything that happened before all this was. The feeling of his big hands running up and down my sides and how soft his lips were and the way he looked at me before we kissed and the after effect. 

"I'll see you later" he said low enough so I could hear him. All I could do was nodded and watch him leave all three of us in the room.

I left a little after that. It wasn't because I was uncomfortable but because Michael and Zara needed time alone. I took the time and help Jacob bathe and eat breakfast. We went out in back after breakfast for fresh air and also so I can think. Now that Antonio knew I was in Florida anything could happen and I had this gut feeling that he was up to something big and not good. 

"Pennies for your thoughts" Anna sweet voice said. Her voice was just like my grandma always lovely. 

I smiled "no not really."

She sat down in the lounge chair next the hammock I was lying in. 

"I came here hoping to find a mess or little Jacob running around the house with Michael but that wasn't the case. I don't know if I want to know what happened."

I let a chuckle out but quickly frowned "do you want to know?"

"I mean I suppose" Anna let out a little laugh. 

I went into exactly what happened this morning leaving the part about kissing Blake and actually liking it. 

"About time this whole thing was let out."

"Wait, you knew?"

Anna gave me a smirk. 

"Of course I knew I just didn't say anything because it wasn't my place. Zara is like the daughter I wanted and didn't want. Yes she's a lot to handle but Michael's got it under control. As for Michael I see he's making a change and he's ready to stop his attics and be serious."

"Took him long enough though."

I shook my head at her. She is worst than a grandma.

"But why do I feel like you aren't telling me the whole story. I'm not going to push it but like I always say everything done in the dark must come to light."

"I know."

I couldn't tell Anna that I kissed Blake and it felt so right. The look in his eyes told me that he liked it just as much as I did. But maybe I could tell her how I've been feeling lately about Jacob needing a father.

"Anna can I ask you something?"

She put her tea down and smiled at me "sure darling."

"Okay so lately I've been thinking that maybe I should start dating again but I don't know if I'm ready."

"Do you feel like you're ready to try that again?"

I looked at her then away I wasn't sure "honestly I'm not sure. I want too but then again I don't want too."

"I can't tell you to go ahead if you're not ready. But why the rush sweetie. I mean I know you're young but you're not old either."

"I know it's just that Jacob is getting older and that sooner or later a mother can do so much."

"Just as I suspected you would say. Yes Jacob is getting older but that's up to you whether or not if you want to date. The guy you do date has to understand Jacob and also Jacob has to like the guy too."

"Yeah but also.. Nothing."

I watched Anna looked at me suspiciously at the corner of my eye. I couldn't tell her that I'm still technically married and that my supposedly husband was at the gala the other night. 

"But what sweetie. I don't judge at all."

I could trust her right. I could try and believe her. After all she's the sweetest and kindest person ever. 

"I'm married."

It was quiet. I know she had a confused look on her face. Everyone did when I said those two words everyone except for Blake. 

Anna cleared her throat trying to make sense of what she heard.

"I thought you said you left your husband."

"I did but I didn't get a divorce because he would know where I was and he would know about Jacob and that would give him a reason to try and walk back into my life and possibly hurt Jacob and I."

"I see where you're coming from sweetie but you know in order to move on you have to file that divorce."

Should I tell Anna I saw Antonio after almost four years at the gala the other night? 

"I saw him."

"Who? Jacob's father?"

I nodded slowly. I couldn't get his smirking face out my head. He was the same ignorant ass man I remember leaving behind. 

"Wait the man that was partnering with Samuel in opening that business."

"Yeah Antonio."

“I knew he looked familiar I just didn't think he was that close to home familiar."

"Yeah well he saw me and he could have taunted me. But Blake was there to defend me but I don't think that will be the end of Antonio."

"Does he know about Jacob?"

I shock my head so fast I felt myself get dizzy "no he doesn't and I don't think he will."

"And what about Zara? You know after you guys left she herself was upset that you're hiding something from her. She swore up and down that you were sleeping with Blake but Michael pretty much convinced her that y'all two weren’t doing anything. I thought so too until I came in this morning to check on you two and Blake had his arm wrapped securely around your waist. Which makes me wonder what is really going on between you and Blake."

"It's complicated but I sort of met Blake when I was living in Florida. He and Michael were called the night I got into that big fight with Antonio. At first I didn't realize it was him until I saw Michael with him."

"Does Zara know?"

I shook my head "no she doesn't and I don't know how to tell her without going into the whole situation that I've been trying to hide."

"You can't continue to hide from the past because it's slowly catching on and that's not good."

What Anna was saying was right but I need help. Not just from Blake but my best friend  but the way I haven't told her the truth shit might get real. 

"I think I might lose Zara and I don't want that. Even though she doesn't know it she helped me get through a lot in the past three and a half years. I love her as much as a sister and all but the thought of losing her will hurt me."

I didn’t know she was listening but I know she’s hurt and I don’t blame her. It just so hard to tell her about my rough past and not feel like I am being judged.

"Yeah well you might as well say goodbye to me Sophia. I thought we were friends, shit sisters but I guess not."

"Zara stop okay. It did it because it was and is still my mess and I didn't want to bring anybody into it."

The look in her eyes told me she didn't care and I had already lost her. 

"Whatever!"

With that she was out of sight. I took in a shaky breath and let out the frustration I've been holding in for the past day and let out a sob. A pair of arms wrapped around my shaking body. I thought it was Anna who held me in comfort but I wrong when the arms pulled into their lap. I looked up with teary eyes and saw those warm hazel eyes. 

"She'll come around just give her some time and space."