6:30 a.m
"Hello" tony answered the phone with a nervous tone in his voice, i didnt no how to say what i have to say to him i instantly got a flash from this morning at 2:46a.m "lord please!" I cried waiting five minutes for these results. I stood up and looked at the test ... the test it read positive one line came and another one creeped up i cried all night not knowing what was going to happen next what am i going to do with a child, how would my daddy feel ? What am i going to do ! "Hello?" Tony broke my thought , i took a deep breath "hey" im nervous my blood pressure feels high i feel light headed i couldn't believe i was going to speak these words "im pregnant" i said spacing out listening to his silence "fuck!" He yells out .
Fuck? I'm not sure what that means but thats what got us in this situation. "Okay call me when you get out of school" he said. we hung up
ALL day at school i couldn't focus i mean how could i. I started thinking of taking care of a baby changing a baby, loving a child. AND Q ..
Of course he didnt come to school and he sure wasnt answering my calls i felt like shit .
Later in the afternoon abby came over knocking on my window i was sleep .
"Soooo?" Abby questioned . i sat up with fear in my face i got up and digged up the pregnancy test that was rapped up in tissue and gave it too abby .
"BITCH!" Abby yelled out
With tears in my eyes
"I no i dont no what to do "
"Have you spoke to tony?"
"Yes this morning"
"And what the fuck he say?"
"Fuck!.., and to call him when i get home but i contacted him and he m.i.a " i cried
" aw dont cry im here for you!" Abby hugged me
"Did you talk too Q?"
"Talk to me about what?"Q walked in on us I felt my heart in my ass .i started tearing up , abby looked like she was about to walk out until i looked at her with plead she stayed .
"Im pregnant" i cried so hard you would think someone in my house would come in .
"And its not mine?" He questioned with tears in his eyes
I put my head down regretting what im about to say how im going to break his heart, i couldve lied and told him it was his but i can't i already knew what was up.
"no its not your baby" i cried.
Q got up and started crying he hit my door and ran out the back door into the alley me and abby ran after him "baby!" He ignored me and ran towards the street he was ready to take his life "baby please dont!!" I cried holding him . "Q calm down bro " abby pleaded. we walked back to my house Q walked quietly he couldnt face me and i was kind of glad he didnt i couldnt stand seeing him the way he was . but i owed him a explanation.
"get some rest ill walk with Q to make sure he gets home safe". abby and Q walked out the door and left me there i was alone i had no other option but to cry, an hour later tony calls me .
"hello"
"so how are you feeling?" tony said nervously
""im not doing too good "
he hesitated."so what are we going to do ?"
i wasnt sure i couldnt really think my emotions was everywhere i felt sick to my stomach .
"im not sure illl call you tomorrow". we hung up the phone my night was crazy i couldnt sleep i was up and down
My morning sickness was getting worse over the week i couldnt hold nothing down. i made excuses for not going to school and my daddys house. "you sure bobo" my daddy looked at me concerned " yes me and abby was going to a party" i lied. "okay well be careful " my daddy said handing me 20 dollars i was so happy and i was hungry.
later that day my girls came over
"bitch you are not !" denise said with excitment me and abby told denise and jaszmine the whole story from A-Z they couldnt believe it Q came over and we had our conversation in private
"so whats your plans with the baby" he whispered .
"im not sure i talked to tony he -"
"YOU STILL TALKING TO THIS NIGGA"
he pinned me to the corner
"Q what are you mad at " i whispered and was scared
"what are yall talking about being a happy family ?" he questioned
"no what why are you saying that?"
"you no what figure this shit out ill be there to help you " he said calmly
Over the weeks Q helped me. when i was sick he cleaned up my vomit . my morning sickness got worse.
" im scared for you baby you need to go to the doctor" Q said rubbing my back as i threw up in a bag. "i no " i kept thinking about tony Q made me block him and i havent heard from him in a week i had to find a way to contact him but i didnt want to break Q trust.
THE rest of the day was hard everything that i ate or smelled i vomit. Q was so worried about me when lane walked in the room i was vomitting. "WHATS WRONG WITH HER Q?" she starred down at me
"she pregnant but not by me " I looked up at Q with anger and looked back at lane she started laughing i was confused to why she started laughing i started crying . my mama walked back out the room
"why the fuck would you do that ?" i questioned Q , he looked at me "because you are dying" i laughed.
"im not dying like what are you telling my mama shit like that this is my business and i didnt want my daddy finding out !"
i cried .
later that night my mama came in my room with the phone in her hand like she was speaking to someone, i got nervous
"who are you talking too?" i asked
"monique" she replied . ugh that was the second to last person besides my dad i wanted to find out about my pregnancy my sister scared me.
my mama handed me the phone
"hello" i said nervously
"how are you feeling?" she questioned
"sick"
"so why didnt you come to me first" she said with hurt in her voice .
"i dont no i was scared"
"so whats your plans?"
"i want to get a abortion".
me and tony been talking about terminating the pregnancy i went to the clinic a few days ago they asked me for my medical insurance but since i didnt want my mama or anyone else to no i couldnt go to her and ask for my insurance card. she wouldve been asking why , so tony said hell come up with 500$ to pay out of pocket.
"well if thats what you thinking of doing i can send you the address to this place near you call them in the morning to make a appointment the sooner you go is your best bet."
my sister sent me the address as soon as we hung up the phone .
The next morning i called
"can you be here at 1 today ?" the operator asked .
"yes i can" my heart started beating i couldnt wait to get this shit done so i can live my life ,
i called tony .
"hey im going in today im about to get dressed"
i said with excitement
"okay well call me when its done" he said calmly .
when we arrived there was protesters outside against abortion they stopped us ,
"please dont go in there have your baby" this lady pleaded
"that baby didnt ask to be here" she continued .
we kept walking to the clinic i felt horrible after hearing the protesters we walked into the clinic.
"i cant believe your really pregnant" jasmine said
"me either" denise said
"i told you my grandma said not too she will keep the baby" abby went on , abbys grandma begged me to keep the baby when i went over her house this morning before we left . i didnt no how to feel but i no i couldnt raise a child .
"hello do you have your insurance?" i handed over my insurance card to the lady at the front desk i started looking at the pictures of the babies around the room i got tearry eye .
"okay take a seat you'll be called"
i found a seat and waited for 30 minutes seemed like ten hours i felt drawsy .
"carlee polk!" the nurse called me. my girls was asked to wait i felt more nervous then ever
sitting in the chair.
the nurse pulled my shirt up i was scared i jumped "relax" she insisted "whats that?" i layed back feeling scared
"its a ultrasound i need to see how far along you are its not going to hurt, the cream is going to be cold " .
she put the cream on my stomach and she was right it was cold she asked me if i wanted to look at the ultrasound i said "yes" i looked and seen my baby i cried it had fingers "is that fingers?" i asked "yes she stated your 9 weeks so the baby is growing we can do the termination but its going to be about a week process ". she was speaking but i can burly hear her i kept looking at my baby fingers on the screen .
I walked into the waiting room my girls was eating and talking the looked up at me "whats wrong bitch ?" denise asked they came to me and dryed my tears "what happen?" jasmine asked
i cried "i cant do it!" i sobbed...
YOU ARE READING
Life Dilemmas
Non-Fictioncarlee was a teenager that didnt have any guidence . went through some struggles , bad relationships abusive relationship . alot of people broke her trust turned their back on her , she got pregnant as a teen and was struggling to raise a child . lo...
