There Are No Words

Chapter 17B

Jenny

When the movie ends, I look over to where they're sleeping. Kim is snoring softly beside Deaglán, who is also down for the count. After a couple of years of being on active tour duty, and after completing various top secret missions, Deaglán has been granted time off for a little while. My grandparents have written to Uncle Artair. They're moving into an assisted living facility and are leaving me their cabin. I'm finally going to go home. Since Deaglán will have to return to active duty, Kim is going to stay with me at my cabin. Deaglán is going to help us settle in. Being this far along in her pregnancy, Deaglán wants to make sure Kim has everything she needs for the baby before he leaves.

Both of them are sleeping on the couch next to me. I had taken up residence on the loveseat before the movies started. After the third movie began, both of them nodded off. I don't mind. I know Deaglán has to be up early for his morning run and reps. He needs to stay physically fit for when he goes back to his team. Kim and I had been enjoying a movie marathon night when Deaglán crashed us. We were watching the sappiest romance films we could find.

The third movie is now over and the credits are rolling. For some reason, the ending of this last movie really affected me. I think about Walker overseas alone, and me living here with Uncle Artair and Aunt Ciara. I love them, but I miss Walker. All of a sudden, I just want to go home. This feeling comes out of nowhere so I'm unprepared for it when it swamps me.

Since they're both asleep, I don't have to worry about Kim or Deaglán seeing me cry. I just let the tears find their own way, silent in their descent as they drip across my lap. Sage looks up and sees them. She tries to lick me better. I hiccup as quietly as I can and bury my face in her fur, muffling my sobs.

I can't wait for Walker to hold me again. I would even settle for being able to talk to him over the phone. Without phone service, though, I can't get a call through to Camp Dwyer. With this aphasia, it's not like it would be a great conversation, but at least I could hear his voice.

I did write to Walker, back when he sent me the Awen. I finger it now as I think about him. Kim helped me write the letter, but it was returned to sender. I don't know why but it came back to me. Kim called Mrs. Graham about it for me, but she didn't know why they sent the letter back either. She offered to tell Walker about it when they next spoke. I'm glad for that; it's a small comfort to me. I just hope he knows how I feel about him. Sending me the Awen and the poem was a big deal. I don't want him to doubt my devotion because I never responded to him. He hasn't written to me again, though, so I'm a little worried.

Kim's been teaching me how to use Skype. I really want to talk to Walker again. My speech is still not perfect, but I've been practicing as much as I can. I don't want our conversations to be awkward, and I just need a little more practice first, but I'm almost ready. Once I get home, I'm going to try no matter what. From what I understand there is internet connection at Walker's camp, so I should be able to reach him.

I wonder when Walker's leave will be. Maybe Kim can ask Siofra for me. I haven't spoken to her in a long time either. I smile just thinking about hearing her voice again. It'll be so much fun to catch up with Siofra. I know Kim will like her. They should get along great. I can't wait to introduce them.

I hug Sage as my tears slow. I feel stronger now. I look around me. I take in the love I've found with everyone here. I'm so grateful. I wanna go home, however, and can't wait to get there.

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Well, Folks, Jenny is going home! 

What do you think she will find when she gets there? 

Leave your predictions in the comments section below.

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