There Are No Words

Chapter 19A

Walker

The sun is still coming up over the lake. I can hear a nearby cardinal calling its mate. If you're observant, you'll notice that after a male cardinal chirps, you'll hear the echo of his call nearby. Soon, his female mate will catch up to him. They'll both fly around, answering each other's calls back and forth while hopping between the trees to and fro to each other. I smile just thinking about this.

As I sit up, I toss the blankets off my legs. Running a hand through my hair, I close my eyes and think about Jenny down the road. I wonder what she's doing today. I heard Sage out in our yards running after one thing or another a few minutes ago, so I know Jenny's up. Like a cardinal drawn to its mate, I feel Jenny's pull on my heart.

I stand up, stretching backwards, bending my back and lengthening my arms over my head. The floorboards are a little cold this morning, but I don't care. I walk over to my window and look out. As if my thoughts have conjured her like a ghost, I see Jenny climbing into her Jeep. Sage follows behind her and jumps into the back. I take a deep breath and sigh.

Shaking my head, I walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth and comb my hair. I walk into the den and quietly do some morning warm-up stretching along with a few push-ups and sit-ups. Cian's out cold on the couch. I use my chin up bar to round out the set, and then lace on my shoes. Grabbing a bottle of water, I head out for a morning run.

Jogging down our road, my mind's on Jenny. I can't get her out of my head. I've missed her so much these last few years. I haven't spoken to her since I've gotten back. Even though my intentions aren't right, I have to see her. She's obviously in a serious relationship if she's living with someone. I saw the guy getting out of his truck to greet her last night. I can't wrap my head around the situation. I knew it was a possibility but I just never pictured Jenny with someone else. My head's not in a good place right now.

A damn Navy SEAL to boot. I noticed the insignia he had on the back of his truck's windshield. I roll my head on my neck thinking about him and try not to tense up. I know she deserves to be happy, but I can't help picture the way she ran into his arms yesterday. She looked so happy to see him when he got down out of his truck. My hands fist at my sides. I push myself, running faster to try to work off the steam I can feel building.

He's not a bad looking guy; brown hair, green eyes and built like a brickhouse. He's in the service, too, so I owe him that respect. As much as I'd like to, there's no room for me to criticize him; he's fighting with honor to protect our country, same as I am.

I can see why Jenny would like him. For her to be happy, the guy has to be a good person. Doesn't matter though. Even though I know she's no longer mine, and even though I know I have no right to feel the way I do, (it's been two years since I left, dammit!), I do. I still want Jenny to be mine.

My morning run isn't working. I stop to look up and catch my breath. Before long, I'm back at our cabin, doing suicides and more push-ups. Lost in my routine, I don't hear the maroon car that pulls into Jenny's driveway at first. When I see a women get out of the car and approach Jenny's porch I look up to see who it is. I don't recognize her.

The woman knocks on Jenny's door and waits. It's not long before the front door opens. My heart jumps in my throat as he greets her with a hug and kiss that knocks me over. He picks the woman up and off her feet and carries back her into the Jenny's cabin.

Instantly, I want to punch him. I want to pummel his face in. How dare he cheat on Jenny? This FLOB is cheating on Jenny and in her own home, too? What, Jenny leaves for work and he thinks he can have his little tart over for a fling while they're all alone? And damned if that woman doesn't look pregnant as all get-out. Oh, no. No fucking way is he doing this unchecked.