All the Lights are On

Deputy Michelle Schmidt

Michelle

We pull everyone out of the house. The fire's reached the second floor by now. The entire town is back out again, pointing and shouting. Sirens fill the air as the fire department shows up. At the bottom of the hill, an ambulance is waiting for Eric.

It's chaos down there. Dana's still holding Eric's rifle, which she grabbed on our way out. Doc's talking with the paramedics about something. Brae grabs my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Course, Sheriff," I say. He nods and walks away. Near the gate, the McKenzies stand watching their house burn down to the ground.

Henry is distraught, tears falling from his eyes. "Dad, I'm so sorry. Mom, I tried. I tried so hard to make it work."

Faith puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it. "I know you did, but some things... some things can't be saved. You're alive now, that's all that matters."

Courtney stares up at the house with a blank look. Her knuckles are bruised a little, but she doesn't care. "Henry, you try too hard. Will's dead." She started laughing. "Will's dead! Will's dead!" Two more paramedics come and lead them both away. Courtney's still laughing.

Faith and Charles look at each other. "Charles, what happened to us?" she asks, refusing to meet his eyes. "Is this the fate you wanted for our children?"

"Faith... I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen."

She sighed. "I know you are. I am too, but it's too late. It's been far too long. I can't go down this road again, Charles. I've moved on. Why did you do this?"

Charles McKenzie's face doesn't change. It was as if all his hopes had died in that fire. "Because I'm going to die. I wanted to see my children one more time."

"They almost died, Charles! My God, they almost died! I said, I said I'd never come here again!" Faith wails. "Why? God, why?"

Charles says nothing. Dana comes and leads her away. Faith doesn't look back. In one day Charles McKenzie lost everything that he hoped to get back.

When Riley went down, it's like the world stopped for a second. Douglass was torn. He thought it was his fault, that he made Riley come back. Brae reassure him it wasn't. If anything, he was to blame.

The bullet caught his vest. He bruised a few ribs, but he'll be fine. The last thing he did before the paramedics took him to the hospital was ask Brae for some vacation time. Brae watched the ambulances leave, then turned around to face the smoldering house.

"Damn shame, that," observes Brae.

Doc nods. "Hm. Maybe not." He squints his eyes at the flames. "You think Will survived?"

"I don't know, Doc. As much as I wish I did, and as much as I hate that answer, I just don't know."

Doc puts his hand on Brae's shoulder. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with not knowing. It's not right for one man to know everything, and hell, some things are better off not knowing."

"Damn straight."

I think about what Doc said a lot. I wonder if he's right. My mom used to say that she refused to accept "I don't know" for an answer.

What do you want to do when you grow up? I don't know.

Where do you see yourself in thirty years? I don't know.

Who's to say how you're going to die? I don't know.

What's life going to do to you? How are you going to survive? Is anyone going to remember you when you're gone? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

I eased into the driver's seat of my squad car. I took off my hat and set it on the dashboard. Before I started the engine, I sat there for a moment. I watched as my friends talked amongst themselves. Dana saw me and smiled. She nodded at me and tipped her hat. See you back at the station.

I smiled and started the engine. Pulling away from the smoldering wreck of the McKenzie house, I drove through the darkened and empty streets. I wondered about the McKenzies and their fate, and I thought again about what Doc had said about not knowing.

What do I know for sure? I know that I notice things. I see things that everyone else misses. I saw something move. I saw a light go out. I saw Carson slip away, I saw the fire. But why can't anyone else?

I guessed that everyone else is just preoccupied. Stuck between what they know and what they don't. What they want to know and what they fear to know.

Brae's scared that something's going to challenge and destroy everything he believes in. Douglass is scared because he's uncertain of the future. Riley's scared he won't make it home to see his girlfriend. Me? I'm scared that I'm going to die before I understand myself.

I don't know what's going to happen to the McKenzies. Each one of them lost a part of themselves in that fire. But maybe they gained something out of it, too. I don't know. It's weird. Yesterday, I could give you a perfect description of the McKenzie House. I could draw you a picture even. But now that it's gone? I can't remember what it looks like.

Will survived. I'm sure of it. One of these days I might go out and prove it. I pulled to a stop at an intersection, and looked out the window. I could still see the smoke from the McKenzie house, the smoke rising away like the curse on the house had been lifted. The moon broke through the clouds, shining down upon the empty streets and parked cars.

Sitting at a red light, I looked around. Everything was dark and quiet, as if nothing had happened. Everything except for one house. Sitting at the end of the block was the Hanston house. I think they moved up to Lonely Souls a month ago. 

But for whatever reason, all of their lights were on. 

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End