Learning How to Bend

NaNo Day 5 (Can I keep this "no titles" thing up?)

I sat on the blanket with my ankles crossed in front of me, resting my weight on my hands that were stretched out behind my back. I occasionally had to lean forward to throw a ball for Chelise, but otherwise, I was free to relax as I wanted. It was another perfect weather day, a rare occurrence in the couple weeks before summer began. I wanted to make the most of it before I locked myself in my apartment once the heatwaves rolled into New York City and tried to boil me alive.

"You're quiet, Lily." Katherine's voice broke into my thoughts.

"Aren't I always?"

"Not so much with me or Joe." I could hear the question in her voice. "Is something wrong?"

"No." Was my answer too abrupt? Probably.

"What's going on?"

"I'm just stressed. That's all. I have a lot on my plate with the projects Thaddeus keeps giving me, on top of all the work in my current group. And I haven't slept well in a couple weeks." I ran my fingers through my hair. "It's just getting close to being too much."

"Is it the nightmares?"

I frowned. She had stayed with me for a couple nights when Joe had gone on a business trip and had found out about the bad dreams. Kat easily guessed the subject of some of them—considering she was there right after it happened—but the others...the others I kept to myself. Probably was not the wisest decision, as I knew Katherine only wanted to support me and would support me however she could. But it had been the same recurring nightmare since I was a small child. I told my father about them once, and he dismissed me like it was all a joke. Since then, I mentioned them to no one, not even when I was consistently seeing a counselor on a weekly basis.

"Yeah." That was not a complete lie.

"I really think you should talk to your counselor about those." I did not have to see her face to know she was frowning. "They're getting worse."

"Not really." I squirmed uncomfortably, thankful for the distraction of Chelise wanting me to throw her ball again. "They come and go. I'll be fine."

"How's your shoulder?"

"What brought this on?" I avoided the question, resisting the urge to touch the scar on my front.

"Just concerned about you, is all. Joe and I haven't seen much of you since the barbecue, and we've been worried." Kat put her hand on my arm. "Say, do you want to go with me to the Philharmonic tonight? You'd be far better company than Joe; he's likely to fall asleep."

"I'm surprised he's not asleep right now." I smiled.

"He probably is." Kate giggled. "What do you say?"

Ever since I was a little girl, I had enjoyed music. I never learned to play an instrument, but I did like to sing in the shower in the mornings. I also could harmonize fairly well since I had a good ear, though that was beside the point. Music was a truly beautiful experience for me, because through music, I experienced joy. I experienced life. I could easily pick out different instruments in an orchestra only by sound alone. Music never failed to move me; Kat knew that. She also knew I needed a distraction, and I needed something to calm the tension I knew I carried like a heavy backpack on my shoulders. Music—especially played by the renowned New York Philharmonic—would do just that.

"Sure," I said. "I'll be looking forward to it."

"Poor Joe will just have to figure out his own dinner tonight." Katherine dropped her hand from my arm. When I heard Chelise drop the ball in Kat's lap, the other woman threw it, and the dog ran off.