Learning How to Bend

NaNo Day 9 - I wrote even MORE. I'll stop now...

To be truthful, I barely remembered any of that day. I knew I spoke with Thaddeus, although I could not clearly remember about what. I knew it was because I had been fighting the after-effects of my first Marcus nightmare in ages. I knew I drank too much. And I knew Joe nursed me back to health that afternoon and into the late evening. All of the specifics, though...those were a blur.

Apparently, though, I told him I had never been to the beach, for he did not ask me to go. No, he announced it and told me to wear my swimsuit and pack a change of clothes. I thought we would just go to the beach and walk around, but the swimsuit meant he planned for us to actually go into the water...and that notion terrified me. Thaddeus had seen several sides of me. Confident, determined me. Compassionate, considerate me. Then there were the worse sides: Irritated-after-a-nightmare me. And giddy drunk me. I was not particularly proud of the former, especially since both occurred so closely together and so recently. I had not had a nightmare about Marcus in a good while; that was why this one threw my whole world into chaos. I was better now, particularly since I started taking melatonin every night to help me sleep, but I felt like I had taken three steps forward with Thaddeus and five steps back. Heavens, I could only imagine what he thought of me.

Yet for some reason, he still emailed me. He still called me. And he still wanted to go to the beach with me. I was starting to think there was far more to this man than I originally thought. I knew it was there; I just never imagined it would reveal itself so soon. But then again, fate and I had not given him much of a choice. He could have left, though, after my nightmare in his office. After I probably acted like a bit of an idiot on the phone with him during our phone call. But he did not. Instead, he actually sent me Joe. He acted like he cared little, but he did care. Maybe I was having a positive effect on him.

Maybe he was having a positive effect on me, too. Because of my biweekly meetings with him, I was required to leave my apartment far more frequently than I ever had before. I saw Thaddeus twice this week at the park in the early morning. We even ran together for a brief time, but he left me behind after a while because I could not run as fast as he could. He did not bring up the nightmare, nor my embarrassing behavior when I was under the influence of the red wine. I must have been pretty desperate, for red wine was probably one of my least favorite things in the entire universe. I liked it when paired with a red meat like steak, but otherwise? No. Not by any means.

I sat on my couch, dressed comfortably in a pair of jeans shorts, which stopped midway down my thighs, and a sleeveless, flowy purple shirt which draped over my thin form. Underneath, I had on a navy racerback bikini which I had bought with Katherine the day before. The back portion was not solid but rather an intricate lace pattern which hugged the center of my back. It was a very cute suit, according to Kat, and she said I looked "freakin' hot." As I usually said when she made a comment like that, I told her I would take her word for it.

The doorbell rang. Sighing, I stood up from the sofa and opened the door inward, putting a smile on my face. "Hey there."

"Ready to go?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I said. "My bag's in my room. Just let me grab it."

He stepped farther into the modest room, but still staying near the door, waiting for me. As I walked back down the hall, he spoke.

"You have a webcam?"

"Don't get me started." I adjusted the drawstring backpack on my back. "It came with the monitor. I don't have a clue how to use it. There isn't really a point in me having it anyway because I can't see anyone."

"But others can see you."

"That they can. I've never used it, though," I said.

"Maybe we should change that."