Learning How to Bend

NaNo Day 13 - It's still cold...

Kat wanted to go shopping again. Thaddeus was in Italy for his second week; I could only guess how frustrated he was about having to extent his trip, for we talked little on the phone and he hesitated to send anything particularly personal over Andino Incorporated's email system. I did not blame him. I tried to convince him to set up a different account elsewhere, but no amount of talk could get him to waver. I stopped trying. Although we had not managed phone calls—it was bizarre not talking to him every day; I did not like it—we'd used our respective webcams a couple times. The six-hour time difference was hard, but we had caught each other. One of them had been after one of my nightmares. I struggled for half an hour figuring out how to work the stupid thing before it started dialing. It was 2:00AM. Since it was 8:00AM, I actually worried he would not pick up, but he did.

I did not know what it was, but talking with him settled me. His voice calmed me, and talking with him about any topic whatsoever calmed my mind. I could talk with Joe, but it was different with him. He was an accountant, so his focus was on numbers. Thaddeus had his hand in every department of Andino Incorporated. I never felt like I ever needed to explain my current projects with him, for he already knew them. Granted, it helped that I often worked directly for him, but that was beside the point. Thaddeus just had a very special effect on me. Special in the best way possible. I only hoped I had a similar effect on him. I thought I could hear a smile in his voice over the webcam, but I obviously could not know for certain. No conversation, though, could replace actually having him in front of me. I missed his voice—without the distortion from the video call. I missed his smell. I missed his touch. I missed everything about him.

My attachment to him concerned me somewhat, but I tried my best to focus on the positive. It meant I was moving on. It meant I was directly combatting my past insecurities. It meant there was still hope for me. And it meant I could embrace the possible future with Thaddeus instead of running away like I might have done a year ago. I wanted to be better for him; I was determined to be better for him. I fully believed Thaddeus, in his own way, was attempting to improve for me, as well, even if it was unintentional.

"What do you think of this?" Katherine's voice broke into my thoughts.

"I can't see it, Kat," I said with a smile. "Describe it to me."

"It's a onesie!"

"Onesies are always comfortable; I can support a onesie."

"You say that like you've had experience."

"I may have a fleece one in my drawer, complete with booties for my feet." I shrugged, a bit smile on my face. "It gets cold in the winter; what can I say?"

Katherine just laughed.

I picked up an outfit from the display table in front of me, feeling the texture of the garment. "Are you going to find out the gender or wait?"

"Wait, I think," Kat said. "I don't care either way. I think Joe wants a girl."

"Maybe he wouldn't worry about me so much that way." I grinned. "This one is soft."

"It has kittens on it."

"So?"

"We're looking for unisex. I don't know about a little boy wanting to wear kittens."

"You're looking for unisex, my dear Kat. I'm going for comfort. Maybe if we find a rubber ducky onesie, your child and I can match."

"Your onesie has rubber ducks on it?"

"That's what I was told when I bought it. Although it could have birds or sheep on it for all I know. It's just soft and comfortable, and I like soft and comfortable." I shrugged.