Skyrim Dovah One Shots

Serious business for the mad Sheogorath x Wood Elf

soccerpro

Y/n POV,

"Damned Elves!"

"Go back to your homeland and leave us alone."

"Skyrim's for the Nords."

Each racist comment annoyed the ever living hell out of me. The pain of seeing the world standing as it is was painful to watch and look at. All the people were either rude or a pushover nice person who let others walk all over them. I felt as if all the problems could be solved with me taking the form of what all the Bosmer are too ashamed to admit. I thought if I took that very form that I could solve and fix everything in all of Skyrim. This serious business takes lots of effort so I walk farther into the woods to begin the transformation.

"Oh, this isn't the fish stick... this will have to do."

I look at the madly dressed man before me. I gave him the death glare and continued the transformation.

"Do you know who I am?"

-No response-

"I said do you know who I am?"

-No response-

"Miss Elf I said do you know I am?"

-No response-

"Whoa whoa... No need for such drastic measures! What does this mortal have in mind into shifting into The Great Hunt themselves?"

I look back at the man and my eyes were a deep dark green staring right at the mad prince.

"You know it's not too late to stop this transformation now? You can easily stop it but do I really want to tell you? You don't seem to want it to be reversed but eh oh well, I'll tell ya anyway."

Sheogorath walked over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders and instead of me continuing the shift I began to shift back into my normal form as well as my eyes. I look back up at him and he just gives me a toothy grin.

"Why would you do that? I was going to fix all of Skyrim from the racism and I was going to restore her beauty in the process. I want to make all the foreign races to feel welcome here."

"You can't possibly do that be shifting into what your race is too ashamed of to admit. CHEESE!! Sorry, I was getting too serious and I had to restore my madness. You really think that I want Jyggalag to take over?"

"Um... no?"

"Exactly, so why do you want to take the form of something that you could possibly never come back from?"

"I don-"

"CHEESE! I'm going to do the fish stick you should join me!"

"No now let me continue... -glares at Sheo- I didn't think that through."

"Sorry Lassie, you know I have a reputation to keep up. But why let this puny racism effect how you help the world? There's always going to be racism. Even in the Shivering Isles where the mad and demented of my followers go when they die. I wonder how Haskill is doing?"

In an instant, Sheogorath was gone in the blink of an eye. I turn to look at the trees and my surrounding and I see nothing or hear nothing out of the ordinary. I get up and walk out of the woods with a small smirk on my face hoping that I see the mad god again.

I see the city of Falkreath in my sights and I see a Stormcloak soldier talking to a guard. I walk closer and I hear them both talking about a wood elf fitting my description. 

"So have you see the woman with the name of Y/n. Wood Elf, e/c, h/c, this tall, and normally wears f/a walking around these parts?"

"Not that I can remember Mr. Soldier. If I do I'll send word right to you."

"Ehm you're looking for me?"

I hear the mad laughter of no other than Sheogorath himself in my head. I shake it away but it causes a headache but I ignore it pushing past the fact that my head was pounding. The Stormcloak turned towards me and my vision begins to blur as my headache got worse. The soldier only smirked as he saw me before him but it all ended when I fell to the ground and blacked out.

"Wake up and smell the CHEESE!! You puny mortals are so weak. I've got to say Champion you lasted longer at handling the Mad God's Mortal play on your head than all the other Champions from the past."

"What? Where am I? What am I doing here? Is this my end? Am I dead?"

"Hahaha now, why would I bring such a lovely mortal as yourself? No, the mad god does not deal in mortal's ends like this. Sheogorath only enjoys it if it involves a mortal being flayed alive and skipping rope with their entrails!"

"So then where am I and why am I here?"

"Oh that's simple, you're in my land now. Shivering Isles in the plane of Oblivion and why you ask silly mortal? For my amusement. Just watching the puny mortals squirm around trying to find a way out is only hilarious because the exit is just overlooked."

"Right... Now can I go back to Skyrim and you know to live a life without a Daedra bringing me to another unknown place."

Sheogorath cocked an eyebrow at me as he snaps his fingers. In an instant, I'm back in Nirn and in front of the Stormcloak soldier resting a hand on his sword's hilt. His eyes are narrowed and an eyebrow is cocked.

"Jarl Ulfric has requested your presence and he wishes for you to go with me now."

I get up and brush myself off to follow the soldier to Windhelm. As we walk, I try to start a conversation with the man.

"So why does Ulfric want me?"

"How am I supposed to know? I don't ask the questions now we're nearly there and be quiet."

We enter the city and into the Palace of Kings to find Sheogorath standing over Ulfric's dead body and Sheo snaps his fingers and time stops. 

"I'm sorry Champion, but you made me jealous by seeing this man. They had to die."

"Not you again... and why in the name of the Nine Devines would kill a man because you got jealous?"

"Of course it's me the Daedric Prince of Madness. Who else could be as mad as me?"

"I don't know anyone who could be madder than you. "

"Exactly now why does the Prince of Madness need a reason of killing a puny little mortal?"

"No reason. I just like having knowledge of wha-"

Sheogorath walks closer to me and grabs my head roughly and plants his lips on him fitting them perfectly with mine. He pulls away and whispers in my ear.  "I will carve my name into your back to prove to you how mad and demented the Prince of Madness truly is." He then snaps his fingers again and Ulfric is alive everything is now playing again. Sheogorath disappeared yet again.