If Only I Were You

Ch.33

Poem/Quote of the day:

To pain is to feel,
Like your skin starts to peel,

To love is to feel,
Warm enough to heal,

To hate is to feel,
Strong enough to kill,

To feel is to live,
And to live is to feel.

-Ramlah Ibrahim Maigari

Chapter Thirty Three:

AFEERAH'S P.O.V

Sahla's words made me feel weak and I lost my balance, only to feel strong arms hold me.

"Don't touch my wife." Ayman said, approaching.

I weakly opened my eyes to face Sahal.

He was holding me.

His eyes were sad and I felt really bad because it was my fault, I caused him pain. I made him suffer. But I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't love him and he needed to accept that. What we had was some childish fantasy, it was just that. A fantasy. And I had happened to wake up from that stupor, on the other hand, Sahal hasn't.

Sahal let go of my and I landed into Ayman's arms, inhaling his scent.

Ayman meant a lot to me. He had been there for me through thick and thin and I love him for thar and much more.

"That would be all thank you. Mrs. Afeerah, you need to sign a few contracts of acceptance so you can claim your inheritance, I'll take my leave now but you can contact me when you're ready." The lawyer dropped his business card on the table and left. Ayman had seated me down, Sahla had stormed out and Sahal...

His eyes glistened as his gaze lingered on Ayman's hands around me. Ayman glared at him, still mad because of the position he had found us in.

"Ayman, can you please excuse us? I need to talk to Sahal." I said.

Ayman looked at me suspiciously.

"Please." I begged. He agreed and left us alone.

I didn't even talk because Sahal beat me to it.

"If only you knew how I'm hurting right now. If only you knew how I waited for you to come back." He croaked, eyes emotionless yet teary.

My heart cracked. "I know Sahal and I'm sorry. But you can't blame me. I never promised you anything. I never got your hoped up because I knew whatever we had was a fantasy, it was just a childish game of love and you were confused. We were confused."

"I'm not confused. I love you. Why else would I feel like killing your husband whenever I see him close to you? Why else does my heart bleed whenever I realise you're not mine? Why?"

I let go and tears fell down my face. "I'm sorry. I care about you. I do. But not in the way you want me to. Trust me, it hurts to see you like this but what can I do? I'm sure there's a woman out there who's waiting for you."

"You must have felt something for me before."

"No Sahal no. I was confused! I was a teenager who had no experience in boys. You were the first boy I had talked to, that's why I got my feelings jumbled up."

"Stop lying to me Afeerah."

"I'm not lying. Please just understand..." I pleaded.

"Is he better than me? Did he save you when you tried to kill yourself? Did he save you from bullies? Did he?"

I gulped.

"I love you."

He completely took me by surprise and hugged me.

_____

Dne.

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