Transformation - The Start Of A New Life

Chapter 10

I was shocked when I saw what happened to Bucky. His entire body was covered in bandages to protect the severe burns. But something else was wrong. It took me a while to realize what was different but when I saw it I gasped for air and started feeling really dizzy. Tony grabbed my arm with a surprisingly strong grip to prevent me from falling and confirmed what I already suspected.

"A piece of a steal beam that was blown off during the explosion fell on his left arm severing a lot of nerves and veins. There was no way we could have saved it and so we amputated it." I could feel the blood rushing through my head but Tony didn't stop talking. "I told you I had an idea to fix him. But I don't know if it's going to work."

"Tell me." We sat down in the two very uncomfortable chairs besides the bed and Tony started explaining. "You know I experiment a lot. And I have been working on highly advanced protheses for a while. It's basically a metal replacement for a lost body part. My prototypes work but there is one problem." "What is it?" "So far I have only dealt with missing fingers or feet. An arm would be much more complex and take a little time." "Could you get started right away?" "Of course. I actually already collected all the parts I think I'm gonna need. He's a good man, Steve. And he has you to thank for his life."

I shook my head and my eyes watered up. "If it hadn't been for me he wouldn't have been there at all. All of this is my fault. He's never gonna forgive me." Now I really started crying. Because the truth was no matter what, I myself would never forgive me for putting the one person who had always had my back in such danger. And while I always said I could never loose him I guess now I have because I couldn't protect him the way he protected me. What good does my new strength do if I can't even save the one person who's closest to my heart?

"It's not your fault. You did the best you could. You were willing to sacrifice your own life to protect his. That's more than anybody could ask for." "I would gladly give my life for his. He's one of the most selfless and generous people that I know. He deserves all happiness this world has to offer. I wish I could take his pain away from him and transfer it on myself. I deserve it." "You don't have responsibility for the whole world. You did the best you could. Don't beat yourself up." "Thanks, Tony. But that doesn't really help."

"Come on, you should get back to your room and get a little sleep. You can still worry tomorrow." "I'm gonna stay here. At least until Bucky wakes up. Even if he hates me now he shouldn't be alone." "Okay, I'll come back to check on you in a few hours. Just call if you need anything."

Tony said that I saved Bucky's life but really it was the other way around. If Bucky hadn't insisted on getting me out of there we would both be dead now. I took Bucky's hand. "Just because I wanted to save the men who attacked us. You would think I'm strong. I have this serum in my blood and the world knows me as 'Captain America' but really I'm weak. I wouldn't let these people die even if it put me in danger. I'm so sorry Bucky. I should have never let you get in that situation. And I know it's never gonna be enough but I am truly sorry. I mean that with all of my heart. Because you are my heart. You are my best friend. A better friend than I could have wished for and certainly a better friend than I deserve. I'm sorry."

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I'm sorry this chapter is so depressing but it will get better. So Bucky is getting his metal arm now. I decided not to use the whole Hydra kidnapping story because it would take a long time to resolve and I don't wanna make this too long. Besides I know you are all here for Stucky and that has got to happen at some point, right?

That's all from me for now. Hope you enjoy and all that's left to say is bye. See you soon!