Transformation - The Start Of A New Life

Chapter 20

Tony approached me after lunch. "So, how are you and Peggy doing?" "To tell you the truth, I don't think we should keep this up any longer. My heart isn't in it and I want to be honest.", I explained. Tony was a good friend and I had to talk to someone. "I know." "What do you know?" "I know you don't love Peggy. Not as more than a friend and especially not more than someone else. Don't worry about hurting her. She knows it too. And you are not her one true love. She will be okay." "Are you sure?", I was still a little insecure. "Of course I'm sure. And you have to tell Bucky how you feel. You can't keep hiding from the truth. Let it out there and see what happens. It can't get worse than it is now. Don't keep torturing yourself. Go and be happy!", without another word he left.

I was shook. I needed this encouragement to do the right thing. I was going to tell Peggy and Buck the truth.

"Steve!", I heard someone shout from behind me. It was Bucky. I started to panic. I was going to talk to him but only after I had talked to Peggy. And even then I would need a little time to prepare myself. "Hey, Buck. What's up?" "I really need to talk to you. It's important.", my heartbeat was getting out of control. "I have to talk to you too. But I need to talk to Peggy first. I can't do this before I told her what I need to say." He came closer and grabbed my hand. My breathing fastened and I felt a strong tension building up between us. Bucky's head moved in closer and he whispered in my ear, "I really want to tell you something before I explode." Shivers went down my spine and when he put his forehead against mine I almost lost my self control and kissed him. But only almost.

In that moment I noticed someone watching us from the corner of my eye. Peggy stood about a hundred meters from us and she looked so hurt. I pulled away. "I'm sorry, Buck. I have to tell her something. Please, wait till I'm back. I can't keep this to myself any longer.", I ran after Peggy who had already turned to leave.

"Peggy, wait!", she turned around and I saw the tears in her eyes. I felt so guilty and I was thinking about not telling her and Buck the truth. But then she started talking. "Steve, I know what you really feel. And I know you don't want to hurt me. But you have to be honest. Both to yourself and to Bucky. Don't worry about me.", I was shook. "I'm so sorry Peggy. I really didn't want you to find out this way. And you have to know that I have never been unfaithful to you. I like you so much. But I can't love you. I'm so sorry.", my eyes were tearing up. "I know that, Steve. And I have known that your heart wasn't in it from the beginning on. It's not your fault. You thought you could get over him. I'm the one who should have stopped it. I knew you were trying to get your mind off someone else and I took advantage of that. I'm the one who should be sorry.", by now she was really crying. "Don't say that. And don't ever think you don't deserve love. You deserve everything you wish for. And I hoped I could give you what you wanted but I couldn't. I can't forget him and I am going to tell him how I feel. Unless you can't stand watching us together. I never want to hurt you. You are one of my best friends. Just say the word and I won't do it.", although I gave her the choice I was really hoping she was not going to ask me to hide my feelings any longer. "Of course I'm okay with that. I just want you to be happy. Besides, I just got a job offer for an organization called SHIELD. They want me to start right away. I already excepted. So this is goodbye for now.", she smiled.

"You are leaving?" "Yes. But don't worry. We'll see each other again. And don't you dare and not invite me to the wedding." "What wedding?", I was confused. "Yours of course. You told that was what you wanted. So go and get it." She pulled me into a tight hug, which lasted for a couple of minutes. "Goodbye, Steve.", she said before giving me a kiss on the cheek and walking away. I was relieved that I had her blessing. "Goodbye, Peggy.", I whispered.

*****

I watched the scene between Steve and Peggy from a safe distance. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I could see that they were both crying. They shared a tight hug and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. What did all of this mean? Were they still together? I decided to let Steve talk first. If he told me he was happy with her I wouldn't tell him about my feelings. If I destroyed his happiness I would never be able to forgive myself.

He came back to me and he hesitated for a few moments before he started to talk. "Before I say this, I need you to promise me that you won't be mad and that you will forever be my best friend. That we can work through anything." "I promise.", I said. Of course I would always be by his side. I could never leave the most important person in my life. "I will always be there for you. No matter what. Steve, you know I would die for you. You can tell me anything.", his nervousness rubbed off on me. "I would die for you too. And no matter what happens and what you tell me or I tell you, nothing could change that."

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Things are heating up around here. Next part will hopefully be good. We'll see. How do you like it so far?

For my next story: Do you want another Marvel Ff or something different?

That's all from me for now. Hope you enjoy and all that's left to say is bye. See you soon!