Transformation - The Start Of A New Life

Chapter 18

Our transport reached the base just when the clock struck noon. So after we put our bags into our tents we immediately went to the lunch area. Today's menu consisted of saussages and potatoes. That was quite a typical meal. Those foods didn't expire fast and they were nourishing. Peggy and Tony joined us at the table and there was a bunch of small talk. We told them about our trip although we did leave out what happened with Bucky and Sebastian.

Peggy seemed a little out of it. Her eyes kept jumping between me and Buck and she seemed very unsettled. After we all finished and left the table she pulled me aside. "Steve, I thought about everything. And I don't know how this is going to turn out but I'm willing to risk it. You just have to promise me something. If there is someone else you want to be with or you just don't want to be with me you have to tell me. I can cope with you leaving but I can't handle you betraying me. I know this is only going to be temporary but life is short and I want to make every minute count. So what do you say? Are we going to give this a chance?"

"Wow, okay. I'm surprised you take it that lightly. I don't wanna make any promises I can't keep. Like I said I want to try this but I also know that it won't be easy for me. I told you that I was trying to get over someone which has been really hard and I'm afraid it's not gonna get any easier anytime soon. If you are willing to put up with that then this might work but, please think about it carefully.", I couldn't believe she was actually willing to be with me when my heart was still longing for someone else. But I was glad. "Listen, Steve. I don't expect anything from you. In fact, I don't even expect anything to come out of it but I can't let this go. So what if we don't work? I'm sure, we'll stay friends. This is not about staying together forever, this is about not wanting to be alone. And I like you, so you are someone I would like to be with for a little while. You don't have to worry that I'm gonna expect you to propose or anything. Is it so hard for you to believe that I'm okay with something casual and relaxed?" "I guess. I, personally, do want something that lasts eventually. I don't have a problem with a little thing somewhere in between but ultimately I am hoping for someone that will love me with everything they have and just as much as I love them. I want a lifetime. And I honestly don't think that you are my happily ever after. I'm sorry.", I felt like this conversation was going round in circles. "Let's just try this, okay? It doesn't have to be perfect. Isn't it enough to make some good memories?", she was getting impatient. But at this point it is was kind of also her fault if she got her heart broken. If she didn't really want something serious, this was perfect. And so I said the words that would hopefully change everything. "Alright. Let's do it. Let's make some good memories."

The following days we spent most of the time together. It was just the two of us and I almost managed to forget Bucky. But only almost. Peggy was great. She talked a lot and I could just listen. I loved listening to people talk. She was talking about her dreams, about what she wants for her future and about what she wanted to be when she was younger. I couldn't exactly picture her as a business woman. She had too much power and too much energy for an office job.

When we weren't talking, we were training. I really saw some improvement in myself and my body got even stronger. Peggy taught me a lot of fighting techniques since they couldn't put something like that into a serum. It was impressive, watching her fight. Her movements were elegant and precise and nothing could hold her back. In the beginning I didn't nearly stand a chance and I was pretty sure she enjoyed pinning me down on the mat. After a while I got the hang of it. I managed to win more and more often and I started training with multiple oponents. I couldn't use the shield of course, since I didn't want to hurt anybody so I used a substitute made of styrofoam.

I barely saw Bucky these days. It felt like he was trying to avoid me. I didn't know what to think about that but I was kind of glad. It was hard to get him off my mind and seeing him would make it impossible. On the other hand I really wanted to see him. He was still my best friend, regardless of my feelings for him and I couldn't imagine a life without him.

It was only another few days later when we talked again. I had missed him so much and my heart skipped a beat when he approached me at the bonfire. "How's it going, punk? I heard you got yourself a girlfriend. Congrats.", he said. The congratulation didn't really sound sincere and I had no idea what to make of that. "I missed you too, jerk. I would have told you about Peggy but I haven't seen you around in over a week. Where have you been?" "We did a special training in case we ever get stuck in a cell again. You know, picking locks, faking a seizure and all that stuff. Also we had to talk to some psychologist to make sure we didn't have any lasting psychological damage. It was alright.", he seemed to relax more while we kept talking. I couldn't take my eyes off him the whole time and I blacked out everything around us. Bucky seemed equally invested and it was like finally breathing again after nearly drowning. I needed this. I needed him. And if I had still had Peggy on my mind in that moment I would have probably thought that I was being really unfair. Standing here, talking to my best friend I suddenly knew that he was the love of my life and moving on would be impossible.

×××××

I decided to only write a few more chapters and bring the story to an end. I will probably start something new shortly after though. So don't worry, I'll be back.

That's all from me for now. Hope you enjoy and all that's left to say is bye. See you soon!