August in the Fall (A "Lab Partners" Fanfiction) *COMPLETED*

Guilt.

I rolled over in the bed, pulling the covers completely over my head. I sighed deeply. Today couldn't have gone any worse. I didn't want to go outside. All I wanted to do was lay here and wallow in my own pathetic presence. Darkness surrounded me from underneath the flannel blankets. I embarrassed myself in front of August. Not only that, but I snapped at him. I yelled at him. Guilt, anxiety, and sadness were all I could feel. I'm a screw up. No wonder August hates me. I don't deserve to love him. Luckily, I managed to hold back the tears that threatened to flood in my eyes. Outside, there came a knock on my door. "Noah?" Elliot asked quietly. "Honey, you've been in there a long time. Would you like something to eat?" I didn't respond. Of course I was hungry. But I couldn't bring myself to eat.

A few minutes went by and another knock sounded at my door. It was harder and rougher that Elliot's, but still gentle. "Noah, you have to come out sometime." Jordan said in a fatherly tone. He paused. "Would you like me to call your brother?" I sucked in a breath. Nick was going to the football game with Damien later tonight. If I know Damien, they're at Pizza Palace stuffing their faces. Nick, -even though he was younger,- always had his ways of making me feel better. Whenever I was anxious or depressed, I could always count on Nick to be there for me. I needed him more than ever. Slowly and reluctantly, I moved the blanket away from my head, and crawled out of my bed, and inched towards the door.

I hesitated at the doorknob. I have no idea how I look. Sighing and closing my eyes, I took hold of the door and yanked it open. Both of my Dads were there looking at me with wide eyes. Jordan took one look at me, and took his phone out of his back pocket. I didn't even have to ask to know he was calling Nick. He turned away from me and went into the kitchen to make the call. I turned to Elliot. He looked so hurt by my broken features. He reached out and pulled me into a hug. I leaned into him, soaking up the comfort. I felt so bad about how I acted around August. I wanted to puke. "It's okay, son." Elliot mumbled. "You can tell me anything. You know that." I nodded against his shoulder.

Elliot slowly let me go and looked me in the eyes. The look he gave pleaded with me, begged with me to tell him what was bothering me. I sighed. "I screwed up." I whispered. Elliot tilted his head to the side to show me he was listening. "I screwed it up with the guy I like. First, I made a complete fool of myself, then I yelled at him, and then-" I broke down. The tears streamed down my cheeks. I choked on my sobs. Elliot sighed and wrapped his arms around me. "Shh, Noah... It's okay." I knew it wasn't okay. What I did... wasn't okay. I was still sobbing when Nick came into the house.

"Noah?" He called. He paused, looking down the hallway where I was. "Noah!" Nick dropped his bag on the floor and raced over to me. He stopped in front of me and Elliot. "Dude! What happened?" I turned from Elliot to Nick and hugged him tightly. Nick patted the back of my head and raised head. "Dad, could you...?" Elliot nodded and headed into the kitchen where Jordan was. Once he was gone, Nick looked at me. "Come on," he said. "Let's go into our room." I nodded, and followed him into our room. Nick shut the door behind him as I sat on my bed. He mimicked me, and looked me in the eyes. "What happened?" I took a deep breath.

"I ran into August in the hall. All my stuff fell on the floor. He helped me pick it up and told me to watch where I was going." Nick frowned. "Then, Flynn put goo in my hair, so I went to the bathroom to wash it out. August was there, and told me I was doing it wrong. Then he went to the window and pulled out cigarettes." Nick's eyes widened. "I asked him why he smokes, and he told to back off. I-I tried to hit him. He pinned me to the wall and told me to calm down. When I did, he helped me wash out the goo." Nick shifted on the bed. "I apologize and introduced myself. He told me he knew who I was. He said he'd heard stories about me in gym earlier that morning. Stuff that Luka had heard.

"August said he knew I was depressed and had anxiety." I paused, taking a breath. "He t-told me... to stop being a baby. To kick life in the balls. He told me I was being a girl. Then I-" I broke, putting my head in my hands, sobbing. Nick pulled me close. Into a hug.

"Tell me... what happened?"

"I-I said... at least I have family who want to help me get better.." I felt so guilty. As I told the story, the scene replayed in my head.

"I know who you are, Goldman." He didn't look me in the eye. His tone was sharp. I gave him a confused look.

"How do you know who I am? From my brother?"

August sighed, and whipped around to face me, pushing his dark hair out of his beautiful eyes. "I've heard the stories. Luka sees everything, and he's quite the snitch when people want to hear what he has to say." August glared at me. "He dug up some great info. For starters, you have anxiety. Really bad."  My eyes widened. August's look was very sincere. "You're really close with Nick, who fights most of your battles." I clenched my jaw. I knew I was supposed to like him, but right now, I hated him more than ever. August crossed his arms. "But that's no secret." He deadpanned. "The real juice is that you have depression something fierce. Of course, your Dads don't know that you take pills. Your brother does though. But what your brother doesn't know?" He paused, taking a step closer to me.

"What did you do to yourself, Noah?"

My eyes widened. How the Hell did this "Luka" find out about what I did? I looked up and narrowed my eyes at him. "At least my family wants to help me. Yours doesn't want anything to do with you." August's eyes widened. Suddenly, he grasped my shirt in his fists and lifted me up, backing me up against the wall.

"How the Hell do you know about that?" He spat. I glared at him.

"For an idiot, you'd be surprised what Flynn Ackerman knows. And what he spews when he's high." August grimaced and let me go. I landed hard on the floor.

"You're an ass." He whispered. To my surprise, he sounded hurt. I realized my mistake. Something inside me broke.

"August-"

"Screw you, Noah Goldman." He whispered, and left the bathroom, the door slamming behind him.

"Oh my God..." Nick mumbled. He hugged me tighter. "I know you didn't mean it..." I sobbed harder. "But..." Nick started, letting me go. I looked down at the bed. "I'm curious," Nick said. "What did you do?" I sucked in a breath. No. No. No. "Noah..?" Nick whispered. I turned away from him. Nick grasped my shoulders and whipped me around to face him. "Noah!" He forced me to look at him. "What did you do?!" I choked out a sob. Hesitantly, I shook him off me and reached for my right arm. Sighing, I rolled up my sleeve.

Nick gasped. "Oh my God."