The Mendes Boy

~Pushing You Away~

~One week later~

I couldn't give a flying fuck about that stupid project. Shawn still wouldn't talk to me so I stopped trying for a while then I went up to him

"Shawn" he tried to walk away I pinned him against the wall "NO YOU DON'T GET TO WALK AWAY ANYMORE, I PUSHED YOU AWAY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE TO, I KILL PEOPLE I'M A MONSTER

I PUSHED YOU AWAY I MAKE OUT WITH GUYS THAT I KNOW I WON'T BE WITH BECAUSE IT'S EASIER FOR ME SHAWN STOP BEING MAD AT ME" i let go of him "I DON'T WANT TO BE PUSHED AWAY I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME A CHANCE" he leaned in and kisses me forcefully and passionately then pulled away everyone was staring at us I ran away i ran outside got on my bike and drove home

I kept thinking about the kiss and Shawn and what he said but then I kept thinking that I didn't want him to die I dont want to push him of the edge too it's all my fault dad's gone liams gone my family is gone and it's my fault

~one week later~

I stopped talking to Shawn I can't loose him if he isn't even mine to begin with i was in English wearing my favorite combat boots and black ripped shorts ~pic above~

"Um Austin can you read your report out loud to the class I really think you should" my teacher informed

"Um sure" I stood up and made my way to the front I put the sideshow of my brother on the screen

"Um I wrote my report about my older brother Liam so it says"
...

"Um look I'm not gonna shit can this project I'm also going to mention The most important person in my life to me but I'm not gonna tell you why he is that.

most of you know I'm not known to listen to anyone so i didnt think it was right to write how we were supposed to so I'm going to tell you the most important person to me his story not who he is or who he was.

My older brother Liam was my best friend in the whole world when I was little I called bumblebee because I couldn't say Liam but I could say bumblebee and that was his favorite transformer
we went through everything together our dad beat the living hell out of him and me everyday of our lives,

but to Liam it was like it didn't matter what he did to him it was what happened to me that he hated.

We had an extremely close relationship. When my brother died a apart of me went with him. Not a small part a big part of me went with him. my heart was broken. Before he died

he was alway smiling but on the inside he was broken and I didn't know it. His favorite color was deep blue.

I never knew why but he told me it was because when I was born I was a deep blue color because I wasn't breathing then he touched me and I started breathing so he liked to tell people that he saved my life. So deep blue became meaningful to me as well