I have been with the same guy for 15 year. We have live through the good times and the bad ones. I'm a good woman I stay home with my Kids don't like to go out much. Other hand my boo likes to be out and about.
There was a time we're he would just take off with he's friends to the bar to play soccer do man things. But that was when he had a good job. Now that he's jobless he got no friends no one to hang out with. But he still won't stay home and spend time with he's family. So lately he has been acting like a freaking ass. Starting fights with me. And let me tell you I have lots and lots of patience with people I like to ignore fights and ugly situations. Main reason is because not only I'm a very sensitive person I also loose my shit fast and I fight back. And I don't fight with words I start swinging punches and I have been known not to stop until my anger is out. ( yes I have a temper problem) and I have learned to control it. But it's just that there's so much abuse and negativity that a person can take until we snap.
So on Sunday I was feeling a bit sensitive and everything was making me cry. I couldn't hide my feelings with jokes like I usually do. I like to hide my feelings by clowning around and been funny. But my boo decided to be an ass and make fun off me. In every single way he was being a complete asshole. He left me for the whole day he left to he's parents house to bee pampered and spoiled by he's parents. ( Low key I'm jealous and hurt because I can't run to my mom and cry to her about my feelings and depression).
So today again he was at he's parents house and came back a bit bitchie and sensitive. He told me that it's my fault that he goes out instead off staying home with me. I asked him what are you talking about. I'm a cold careless person. I don't show my feelings to him. Before I tried to show him but everything else was more important than our family. So now I don't really care if he's not home. I have learned to be by my self with my children. I have learned to keep my feelings inside and not show anyone because it's a sign of weakness. The holidays are coming and I'm not looking forward on spending time with him and he's family. I rather stay home with my baby's and have fun with them.
Could it be that the love is gone. And we are just together for the fuck off it. I'm not afraid to be alone and happy with just my kids. But my boo is afraid I can see it when we are fighting and I tell him that I'm at the point off walking away from him and our relationship. I'm not a cold person I just protect my self from him hurting me again and again.☺️😔😔😔😔😔😭😭😭😭
Maybe it's time to move on and be on my own for a while.
