It Was All Unexpected (editing)

Chapter 4

****AYANE*****

Oh my, I am really nervous. How am I gonna phrase my thoughts so that they will understand. Part of me wanted that they forget about it and the other half wanted to let go of this burden that always follows me. I...want to cry...cry my heart out....without being judged. A shoulder to cry on....that's all I want.

'Hey guys' I waved at them trying my very best not to reveal my nervousness but Takeru is not someone you can fool. He can look straight in your mind.

I took my place behind him as usual.

'So...you okay Ayane. If you don't want to tell us it's okay.' He said clearly reading my anxiety. But this was probably the deadlock that I needed.

'No...I am ready.' My mind was made up.

We still had twenty minutes left before the morning bell. We arranged our desks and chair a little closer secluding ourselves from the rest of the class. Yuuto wasn't there and I preferred it.

'Umm...it happened three years ago, when I was in middle school third year. I wasn't a single child. I had a...sister....Izumi Yamashita. She was six years older than me. But even then she shared everything with me...every little detail of her life. When I was in year two' I felt my throat getting tight..' she told me about this guy she loved....she held dear' I won't be able to stop the tears ' but something went wrong down the line. I don't know what exactly happened but I could feel the tension growing in her with every passing day. She stopped sharing her stuff with me. She stopped being herself.
She had shifted to Osaka after high school and that was when she had met him. I tried a lot to get her to talk to me. It was after I graduated from my second year; she had come to stay with us for 2 weeks. I knew she was going through emotional troubles. She never said a thing to me. And I. ...' my voice broke and tears were making way down my cheek '...I couldn't do anything to stop it.'

'What happened?' Nana asked looking ashen.

'When she went back to Osaka, three days later....she died....suicide. we were informed by one of her friends who apparently couldn't reach her and informed the cops. They discovered her body and a bottle of sleeping pills....empty.'

Nana hugged me tight. But I couldn't hold it anymore. I have kept it in for so long. I have held in what I felt when I passed down corridors in my junior high and people would whisper, sympathise. Some would even call her a freak or that she wasn't strong. Half of second year and the third year were hell there. Those looks and the pain...I was so numb.

' She left a note behind addressing depression and how hard she tried to fight it. It was an open and shut case. I knew what the note read and what it didn't.'

'I told my parents about it and the guy was called but who would believe a kid. Nobody. I was called a liar and her death meant absolutely nothing to him.'

'I knew something was wrong when we were in junior high Ayane. Our homeroom teacher barred us from talking about anything. I... I heard students talk about it..in whispers and in those moments i felt like punching them hard in the face. I didnt know the whole thing because I am not a newspaper person and..... I know how hard it must have been for you. ' Nana hugged me tighter.

' I couldn't do anything. And...I loved her...so much. It's just so much to keep in. I have lost my friend and all of this was because of that person. She gave up her life just like that and he couldn't care less.'

' I wonder if there is any true love in this world'.