Chartreuse - On the Other Side

La Luz de Mi Vida

'The light of My Life'
Pair: Armando Ollireum/Alexander Aranda
Genre: angst
Language: English

-Not happen in original story, but somehow it reflects Chacho's true feeling towards his bestfriend, Alexander-

Chacho's PoV

.....

If you fall, I will take your hand so you can stand up and walk again.
If you are too tired to walk, I will be your breath.
I feel enough just to be by your side.
I don't want to see the light of your life fading away, because that light is my only guide.
You're the lighthouse shining my dark path, did I ever tell you that?

.....

A hit and run. In the middle of the night, and fuck, it happened to us. Alexander and I. It didn't matter if the 'hit and run' side was ours, but the damn fact was, we were 'the one who got hit and run'.

We were in the middle of the desert, between Honduras and Guatemala border. I had to take care of some gang business in Guatemala. At first, Alexander didn't wanna go with me, but I insisted. I needed a friend to watch over me while my Lieutenant, Gustavo, got locked away by police after he failed a mission to sell the drugs. What a stupid Lieutenant I got. I knew I could not count on him as much as I counted on Alexander.

We started our journey yesterday with my new car. Not a brand new actually, I just got it by stealing from one of people in our barrio. I was the one behind the wheel until this evening. After dinner, Alexander asked me to let him drive and said that I needed a rest.

I'd slept for several hours and woke up wanting to take a pee. We stopped for a while as nature called me, then continued our journey. Alexander was still behind the wheel. He drove carefully, much slower than me, even there's no other car in the way. I mocked him for driving like an old woman, and he just ignored me and kept driving like that, told me to shut my mouth.

Then it happened. A pick up hit us from behind so hard. Alexander reacted so quickly by swerving the car to the right, I guessed he wanted to pullover. The next worse thing was, that damn pick up accelerated until we're side by side, it was on our left side. One of the passengers opened the window and started to fire. I was shocked and grabbed Alexander to put his head down. He lost the wheel and then bang! Our car got flipped over twice before it hit the palm tree near the down hill, upside down. That pick up got away and I heard some laughs there.

I tried to pull myself out and I did it through the broken glass of the window. Alexander was still trapped in the car, stuck by his damn seatbelt. When I got him by his left side, I tried to help him cut the seatbelt with my knife. I always brought my knife with me in my pocket, guessed it was useful at that moment.

I managed to cut his seatbelt and he fell down hard. I pulled him out carefully, kept talking to him so that he would not fall unconscious.

"Papi, are you still with me? Tell me which hurts." I asked him softly after his body laid safely on the ground near the wrecked car. Actually it was just a stupid question. I know he felt pain all over his body... just look at him, for god's sake. I could not stand looking at him like that. His forehead was covered blood, his hands and legs were no different. I thought he hit his chest so hard with the wheel when the car was starting to flip over. That damn car was an old car, no airbags. His breath sounded horrible. He struggled to take a breath.

He looked at me. "You... bleeding..."

"I am fine, it doesn't matter. I could still carry you, it means I am much better than you." I sighed. Damn this man, why was he even worried about me? "Your chest hurt?" I asked.

"Yes." He answered. When his eyes started to close, I touched his pale white face. He looked at me again, holding back his pain.

"Will you be okay... without me?" He asked slowly with his broken voice.

"Never." I started to panic. "Hold on, Alex, I will ask for help. You... you gotta hang on there, man. You got me?!"

Alex still looked at me, started smiling. "It's fine, Armando."

I looked at him, feeling betrayed. "No, don't say that! Don't say anything! Just keep breathing, okay? Keep breathing! Inhale... then exhale..."

I could see that the light of his eyes started to fade. He tried his best to stay awake, I knew. But, I could not ask him more than that. We were alone in the desert, no one came, no one could be asked to help us. I felt so hopeless. I could not do anything except holding his trembled hands and stayed by his side, as long as I could.

He died in my arms when the desert hit the coldest temperature, finally closing his eyes with his final breath.

That night was the longest night we ever experienced. Until the morning came, I still hugged his lifeless body and cried my eyes out for hours. He was my light, he was my whole world. What could I do after he's gone?

I kissed his forehead for the first and the last time, saying goodbye. I caressed his soft-black hair carefully, cleaned his wounds all over his body with my remaining shirt.

At noon, after I calmed myself by hugging him throughout the morning, I finally laid his body on the ground. I prepared to dig a hole, trying to bury him appropriately.

At evening, I finished making a simple cross as his headstone. I didn't pray, because I left God since I was ten. Alexander had his own God and I hope his God would lead him back to Heaven. He was an angel, he deserved to live up there.

At night, when a car passed by, I stood fiercely in the middle of the road. When the driver hit the brake and succeeded to not hit me instead, I shot him dead.

At morning after, I was in Guatemala with the stolen car, looked for the men in the pick up who took my best friend away from me. I found them at noon, still drinking and playing cards. I slaughtered them all, piece by piece.

Then I got back to Alexander's grave in the desert, between Guatemala and Honduras border. I laid beside his grave, told him everything he needed to know what I did all day after he's gone.

I could not bear to live without him any longer. My light was gone, so was I.

Then I shot myself.

****