Twisted Memory [Ereri/Riren Fanfic] [COMPLETED]

Chapter Thirty-Two: Someone will love you

AN: Play the song when you see 🎧

Levi had woken up with his heart pounding rapidly in his chest and his breathing chaotic. He could feel that he was sweating profoundly and ended up in a extended coughing fit. His eyes were stinging and itchy but he didn't know why, however when he thought about the other times he felt random pain he recalled it wasn't his body that was inflicted with it. He had to assume that it was what Eren was feeling, and if that was the case he didn't want to think about what the man named Erwin Smith was doing to his lover. Levi sat up and sat on the edge on the bed, resting his feet on the cold stone floor. He found the feeling unsanitary but he didn't have anything to put on his feet so he had to deal with it. He stood up slowly, trying his best to retain his balance, and started to take a few steps.

The raven was able to find his shoes and black coat, and so he's been walking for almost ten minutes. 🎧 He decided to walk around in the courtyard to get some fresh air and look around the gardens for a little bit. As the man was walking he looked up to night sky and was awestruck with sorrow. He admired the stars and remembered that the day before he and his lover's friends went beyond the wall that he had wanted to show the teen sights like this one. He wanted to show him the sunset in his favorite place, he wanted to admire the stars with him, and he wanted to wake up to his lover's sweet and gentle singing voice in the mornings. What had he done? It was the only thing swirling in his thoughts now, the only thing making him ponder with vast regret.

There were many things he regretted and knew he could've done something different. He knew that if he hadn't allowed his sorrowed state transform his reason into a lust craving monster then things wouldn't be as they were now. And he knew that if he hadn't left Eren with Erwin when he left, things wouldn't have gotten out of control. Now because of his mistakes Eren has changed his friends into people who either fear him or have become enemies towards him. Levi never meant for any of this to happen, but at the same time all of this has taught him a lot, and he had gotten to feel the emotions he had buried deep down after the deaths of Isabelle and Farlan. He knew those thoughts were selfish but he was given the chance to feel alive for the first time. He always found the world around him to only be filled with greed and death but after he was given a second chance to fix what he'd broken he realized those thoughts were proven wrong.

Eren had shown him the joys to live in the world where you're born free, and how it's like to lose someone close to you. For Levi it was just following orders and keeping his comrades alive, but after Eren came into his world everything changed. His world in which was only black and white had turned into a colourful canvas. Levi wished that he could've sat down and spoke to the teen face-to-face, so he could learn more from him. So he could know him better than anyone else.

As he was still starring into the sky he started to get cold from the strong winds that came every now and then, so he looked back down to the ground and walked his way to the building. His throat was parched from his coughing fit a while ago so he decided to get some water on his way back to the infirmary.

He had gotten the water and was on his way back to the infirmary when he heard something close by. He reached where he heard the noise and saw that there were three children playing in the distance, though the man had to wonder why they were outside so late. As he watched them he noticed that one of them had the same vigor as his lover. He smiled ruefully to himself along with giving off a light chuckle. He opened his mouth and spoke quietly to himself.

" I'm sorry Eren, but it seems that I'm not the one for you. Don't worry though, someone will love you..." His words had quivered at the end and he could feel his throat convulse from trying to hold back his cries.

Levi walked away from the children when he saw someone on night duty start to guide them to their homes. When the man returned to his bed he had buried his face into the pillow and allowed his tears to soak into it. The broken raven imagined the soft cushion as his lover's shoulder and called out to him silently.

" Eren...... Eren, please... Please find someone better than me..."

All Levi could think about was how his ignorance had ruined everything, it was as if he treated Eren like jewelry and tossed it away after it dulled. He had allowed himself to submerse himself into the guilt he had created and wished that it was someone else Eren had confessed to. Of course, trying to forget about someone who had strongly impacted themselves into you're life was harder than the man had thought. No matter how much he tried to think differently about his actions, no matter how much he attempted to forget about the love of his life, it all proved difficult to accomplish.

The man could tell that his hot tears weren't going to come to an end, but he didn't do anything about it. He simply allowed his sorrow and guilt put him to sleep, allowing an entrance to the world of nightmares that lay ahead in his sleep. He muttered one last thing before falling asleep.

" I still love you, Eren..."

AN: Two chapters in a row! Any who, I wanted to do something kinda special with this one cuz the song "Sorry" by Halsey had started playing when i started writing this so I was like, " Hey, you know what, I'm kind of sad about what I did to Eren so I'm going to make a sad chapter to take a break from all of that." So here you guys go, I hope you guys like this one and I'll see you on the next chapter!!!

TO BE CONTINUED...