Touched By You

"Don't forget me."

"Why are you sleeping out here?" Lucy crouched down in front of her couch and tucked a strand of hair behind Vero's ear, watching her wife's glistening eyes search her own.

"The bed...it's too cold without you." Vero bit her lip to stop it from trembling.

"But this couch is gonna end up hurting your back, come on, babe, you're supposed to be the smart one between us."

"Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?"

"You're acting like everything is okay, Luce," Vero dropped her gaze from the deep, brown eyes before her. "Nothing is okay."

"But it can be," Lucy went to touch her wife's hand but Vero felt nothing and it caused a pang to resonate through her heart. Her entire chest cavity felt empty. "You just need time. Everyone does."

"And you expect us to just get over your death?"

"No," The older girl scoffed. "But I know you can all move on from it, you just need to lean on each other for a little while." Lucy leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Vero's forehead; a touch unfelt. "You've got this, baby, I know you're strong enough to get through this."

Vero opened her mouth to speak up again, to tell Lucy that she had no clue what she was talking about because she would never have to worry about losing the person she loved most in the world. Never would Lucy ever have to experience Vero's death. Never would she have to accept it and move on from it.

She'd never feel the gaping hole of her absence.

Lucy would never feel the icy cold of the bed that was once as warm as the sun's morning rays.

Lucy would never have to plan a funeral and worry about who to call.

Those were concerns that Lucy lost the minute she took her last breath.

A knock on the door silenced Vero before she could utter any of that though, and when she looked for her wife, she found herself alone.

With reluctance, she made her way over to their front door and opened it to find Camila on the other side. It was the second time in twenty-four hours that the Cuban had come by and Vero hadn't spoken to her then either. She wasn't planning to do it that night.

It was late, so Vero figured Camila was avoiding Lauren once more.

Another thing to blame on Lucy.

"Hey." Camila's voice was small.

Vero stepped aside without a word and the younger girl let herself in, her eyes instantly finding the makeshift bed on the couch.

"Lauren does that too," She gestured to the blankets and pillows. "But she just doesn't want to be around me."

"It's late." It was the first time anyone had heard Vero's voice since Lucy's heart stopped.

"I figured you'd still be up, I know you're not sleeping." Camila perched herself on the recliner Lucy had convinced Vero to buy despite the colour and material it was made of, apparently it had added character to their apartment. "Lauren's not sleeping either. The funeral tomorrow...she's not ready to say goodbye, I don't think any of us are."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"She was my best friend too, you know?" Camila surprised Vero with tears that streamed down her face freely. "I think Lauren forgets that because she's so lost in her own grief, but I loved Lucy too. She meant so much to me."

"Camila-"

"And I know, I get it, she was your wife and she was like Lauren's sister and I shouldn't even be here right now unloading on you but...I feel like you would get it as well. Because I know Lauren's not talking to you either, so you must get it. It's like...it's like in her mind she's hurting the most and it's not true." She stuttered over some of her words as she spoke. "It's not true because I miss her too! It's been two days and I miss her so much and no one is talking about it, we're all just existing now and we're pushing each other away and she would hate that." Camila wiped at her tears vigorously. "But that doesn't matter, right?" She felt herself calming down. "It doesn't matter how she would feel...because she's dead. So fuck her, right?"