Touched By You

"She can have both."

It's almost visible.

It's so painfully there that it can almost be seen.

This crack in the world, this split that has halved them.

Lauren is standing on the other side with her back turned and her focus on the village around her whilst Camila is waving at her to no avail.

She's big now. Lauren is a huge name in America and her name is spreading throughout the world and suddenly she's no longer Camila's Lauren, instead she belongs to every woman and neglected child out there. Every marginalised person that her words impact.

Suddenly Lauren's friends had expanded from their small group to the likes of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Shaun King. She's hanging out with people like Kendrick Sampson and smoking with Halsey. Lauren doesn't just talk about life anymore with people, but she surrounds herself with those who she can talk to about change.

But she's not talking about the change in her own life.

Camila tried to comprehend this, she tried to see Lauren's point of view because she knows how important all of this is and she knows that her wife will one day be someone who goes down in the history books. She knows this.

But she just wanted Lauren to think about the change that was happening in their life now too. She wanted Lauren to recognise that they hadn't shared a meal together in weeks. More often than not they're no longer sleeping in the same bed, because they're no longer in the same state.

Lauren now lived for rallies and podiums where she could voice her truths and be met with an applause of agreement. Lauren lived for others and no longer for herself and Camila couldn't hate that because that's the person she'd always known Lauren could be. She knew the type of good Lauren had in her before even Lauren did.

But the green-eyed girl's ambition came at a cost; blissful ignorance to her withering marriage.

Camila couldn't talk to Lauren, she'd tried. When they'd both been home for a week, she'd sat the green-eyed girl down and she was about to bring it all up but Lauren had that glint in her eyes that told Camila she had something to say.

And Lauren proceeded to tell her about a little girl that had freely gone to the police about the abuse her father was inflicting on her mother after listening to one of Lauren's speeches. The raven-haired girl was alive with new hope because she'd made a difference in someone's life. She'd been able to help them realise that they were worth more than the anger of a man.

So Camila had let that moment pass them and from then on, she'd let many moments pass them.

This was her truth; she couldn't stand in the way of her wife.

She knew Lauren would drop it all if she knew how unhappy Camila was, she knew Lauren would do anything for her. But she also knew how happy Lauren was at the moment, she knew the green-eyed girl had found her purpose in the world and she knew she could never ask her wife to give that up. Not when there were lives being changed every day because of her.

It was the Superman dilemma; it is hard to be a hero and an every day person at the same time. Something always had to give.

"I was wondering when you'd let it all out." Vero sat across from the young Cuban with a half-smile on her lips. "This had to be getting to you. There's distance...we can all see it."

"All except Lauren, I guess." Camila shrugged, reaching for her mug of tea and taking a tentative sip. "If I told her any of this...she'd feel like she had to choose. I can't let her do that."

"Because she'd choose you."

"And then the entire world loses one of their best fighters for social justice." Camila scoffed, rolling her eyes before placing the cup back down. "I never thought that I'd be proud of her and disappointed at the same time. I feel selfish."