Touched By You

"I'm fucking in love, Normani."

"I've been seeing someone." Lauren's attention was drawn away from the television as she looked to Ashley who sat back and hugged her legs to her chest. "It's getting serious so...."

"So this is done," The green-eyed girl gestured between them and nodded slowly. "Is it the kid from England?"

"Yeah," And Lauren could appreciate the glint in Ashley's eyes as she spoke. "We're releasing a song together."

"You have been talking about him a lot," The raven-haired girl offered her friend half a smile. "I'm happy for you."

"You're not mad?"

"Fuck no," The younger girl scoffed. "I knew we weren't exactly endgame, Ash. It doesn't take a genius to deduce that."

"Yeah, because your endgame just released a new album but you were too busy trying to persuade a government that attacks on minority groups by straight white guys should be classed as domestic terrorism to even take a minute to listen to her music."

"You didn't even take a breath saying all that."

"Stop being a fucker, Lauren," The older girl nudged her friend, rolling her eyes. "You need to work things out with your wife. You've done the job now, things are in the works so you can take some time now to sort out your life."

"Camila's moved on," The Cuban sighed. "She's doing more than fine on her own, she doesn't need me to get between that. Besides, she's about to finally tell me that something's going on between her and Vero, I can tell."

"You really shouldn't be okay with that."

"I was fucking you."

"There's a difference between sleeping with someone and committing to someone. You were never committed to me, Lauren...but Camila is starting something with Vero, it's not just sex with those two."

Lauren had said those exact words to herself over and over again but hearing it come from someone else brought on a new bout of pain in her heart. She couldn't hold it against Camila though, she knew she'd given up that right the minute she chose to prioritise her as second. Camila should never have been a second choice to Lauren but she knew if she had to do it all over again, she would.

The thing was; despite her own heartbreak and the seismic crack she'd put through her marriage, Lauren didn't regret what came as a result.

Lauren got to help people, she got to speak to people who'd lost everything and she got to offer them support from people she never thought she'd ever get to meet. Lauren had sat down with Leonardo DiCaprio and talked to him about environmental changed and the everlasting impact of coal mines. She got to have a drink with Kehlani and talk to her about the growing need for positivity in spirituality. Almost every day for the last seven months, Lauren was able to talk to someone knew about something that was important and things that could progress towards a more peaceful way of living.

Lauren never regretted meeting people like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or Shaun King. She loved that she got to shake the hand of Bernie Sanders and got to hear first hand from him what he planned to do to help with immigration instead of simply rejecting people at the border. She looked through several photo albums where Bernie stood side-by-side with people fighting for change and she felt privileged to be able to say she stood beside him.

The green-eyed girl had helped feed the homeless and worked to provide shelters for them. She spoke out about domestic abuse, she told her own story more times than she could count and no longer did it weigh on her shoulders, instead, every time she spoke about it she felt more free.

So yes, she'd all but destroyed her marriage and she knew there was a very high chance she would never be able to redeem herself in Camila's eyes...but Lauren didn't hate herself the way she'd expected to. Not when she'd witnessed families being reunited because of her fight, not when she heard people change their entire perspectives on life because of something she'd said. And Lauren knew she wasn't perfect...but she was doing something that she never thought she possibly could and it was liberating.

But Ashley was right, she did miss Camila.

She missed the brunette every second of every day and she'd tried to numb that longing only for it to come back full swing. She didn't think she would ever truly stop missing Camila Cabello. But she didn't know how to make amends and she didn't know if Camila wanted her to. She knew Camila was happy with Vero and Lauren felt like she had no right to get between that, but even for now...she'd accept being Camila's friend...if she allowed her to be.

She just...wanted to be part of her life again. She wanted to be able to find a balance now because she'd done everything she'd initially planned to do. She'd made a name for herself, she'd made people aware of the threat she posed to the current governmental administration. Lauren's voice had now been heard in almost every single television nationally and she had time to rest now. She had time to get her life in order again and then find a proper balance that wouldn't require her to leave for indefinite amounts of time.

Lauren could finally be present again.

And so she started to do that and it started with Normani.

Needless to say, when her friend had opened the door to find her on the other side, the door was then slammed shut quite abruptly and Lauren almost let that deter her. But she knew Normani, she knew if anyone was going to let her talk, it would be Normani. They were closer than that, they had to be.

"You're a dick, Jauregui." Lauren noticed that she was no longer being referred to by her marital last name and it stung. Because she hated her maiden name, everything about it brought back memories she'd rather not dwell on. "And I know you're not really a piece of shit because even Trump is saying bad shit about you so you must be doing something right, but you left me behind."

"I left everyone behind, Mani," Lauren sat down on her friend's couch and ran a hand through her hair. "On a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate me?"

"I'll let you figure that one out on your own." Normani sat opposite the green-eyed girl and raised a brow. "What brought you back?"

"I have time, I can kind of sit back and let the stir I caused in the public eye simmer."

"So you'll get back into that again someday."

"Not any time soon," Lauren shook her head slowly. "Right now I'll just be working through social media, emailing people and organising shit that will help way too many causes for me to count."

"You sound like a goddamn hero."

"You know I'm not," Lauren scoffed.

"Yeah, and don't you forget it."

"How is she?" Lauren had to ask, she had to really know how Camila was. What she was doing. All of it.

"She's happy, Jauregui," Normani sighed, sitting back in her seat and crossing her arms. "She's actually really fucking happy, but I'm assuming you'll be fucking with that pretty soon."

"I was thinking...that maybe I won't," Lauren offered Normani a soft smile. "I was actually thinking I let her do what she needs to do."

"You're married."

"Yeah, I know," Lauren crossed her own arms and leaned back. "Which is how I also know that this isn't the end of us."

"But Vero-"

"-Is really fucking good for her, trust me, I know," The raven-haired girl shrugged. "And she might even be better for Camila than I am, but the fact of the matter is; Camila and I are literally fate. She's the reason I believe in all that shit. So we'll come together again, somehow."

"You're basing all of this...on some bullshit theory of fate?"

"I'm basing this on everything we've been through and everything we still have to go through for that endgame."

"You're fucking delusional."

"I'm fucking in love, Normani." Lauren smirked. "But I guess the two really do go hand-in-hand."

Just so you guys understand a little of Lauren's side and her motives, you know?

Really hoping not to have my writing insulted in this chapter, fingers crossed!