🌙 REMUS LUPIN X READER ONESHOTS

i will hurt u

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all the memories they’re haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our face held high
It never would have worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

“We’ll always be together, right?” You asked softly.

Your head was in Remus’ lap, a billowing willow floated above as a gentle breeze sifted through the warm summer air. He was playing with your hair, looking down upon you with a loving gaze.

“You know I can’t promise that.” He whispered sadly, turning his head to look away now. “I can’t imagine you living a long and happy life if it were by my side.”

You sat up, bringing your knees up to your chest. Your head hung to the side, a pondering look spreading through your features. You flicked your eyes down to his hands, taking his in your own, your thumb running over the white lines and deep markings.

“I’m never going to leave you.” You spoke, a solemn tone laced within your statement. “You can’t make me.”

“But I can leave you.” He sighed, pulling you towards his chest. “It’s only a matter of time before something happens. I’ll do something that puts your safety at risk, and I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”

Silent tears now fell from your face, being soaked into Remus’ school tie. You knew he was right, but you wouldn’t admit it out loud. There would come a day that Remus would leave you, for your own safety. He didn’t want his condition to be the downfall of the love of his life, and so, when the time came he prayed he would be strong enough to do the right thing. To let you go.  

You grabbed a fistful of his shirt, gripping onto it tightly. You were so angry and hurt. Why did fate have to be so cruel? Why couldn’t you just stay with him forever? It’s the only thing you wanted.

“Can we just pretend that our story won’t end in tragedy?” Your woeful voice was muffled by his shirt.

“It won’t end in tragedy; I won’t let it.” He huffed. “Don’t you see? The only reason this will have to end at all is because I don’t want tragedy. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Remus, you could never hurt me.” You looked up at him now, eyes brimmed with red.

“Of course I can. I’ve hurt you before.”

“That was an accident.”

“Still, I hurt you.” He fiddled with your sleeves, rolling them and unrolling them in an attempt to keep his own tears at bay. “I won’t let it happen again.”

“Then what’s the use of this. Of Us.” A violent sob racked your body as you were overcome with emotion. “What’s the use of even trying? I’m here, telling you that I want to risk it. No amount of pain I could go through would make me love you any less. But you won’t even try.”

You turned away from Remus, standing up.

“I’m going back to my dorm.” You mumbled, walking away, back up to the castle.

Remus let out a deep breath, then when you were out of view, he let his walls down. He had to dig his nails into the grass he was sitting on to ground himself. It hurt both of you, knowing that the time would come when you had to part. But that was just how it had to be. Your relationship was filled with ups and downs, all of which Remus appreciated. He loved you, and that’s why he had to accept that eventually, you would come to an end.