Learn To Live Again | Namkook

Chapter 12

Namjoon POV

Eventually, the front door opens and the guy that came with Taehyung and Jungkook walk in. Jungkook seems to be in a good mood. Though, after what Taehyung told me, I'm not so sure whether it's real or not anymore. I never would've guessed that his life isn't what he lets it look like.

After Jungkook is back, he and Taehyung talk for a couple minutes before Taehyung and the other guy leave. The evening passes by quietly and after an hour of sitting in the living room doing nothing with Jungkook in the kitchen working on homework at the table, I give up and head off to my room.

Though, all I do when I get there, is lay down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. As I lay there, I let my thoughts wander.

What all exactly is Jungkook hiding? He really does seem happy all the time and never lets on that there could possibly be anything wrong. Does he let anyone in at all?

A sigh escapes my lips as I close my eyes and run a hand through my hair. I never would've thought someone like him could actually hold so many secrets.

His hand was super soft this morning when he placed his on top of mine. I was really surprised when he actually did that, and it was actually kinda calming... Why though? He's just a stupid, weird, annoying kid that I have to live with.

Ugh, it's only been just over a week since I've started living with him and he's already gotten my thinking messed up. What the hell?

Groaning in annoyance at myself, I rub my hands over my face before turning over to my stomach. Closing my eyes again, I decide to just go to sleep. It's better than weird ass thoughts randomly running through my head.

Though, I do wanna know what all he's hiding and why he's hiding things to begin with...

Stuffing my face into a pillow, I squeeze my eyes tightly shut. Forcing my brain to slow down on everything running through it, I soon fall asleep.

Looking around myself, I frown as I find myself back at my old apartment. How the hell did I get here? I thought I was at Jungkook's place...

Biting my lip curiously, I walk over to Yoongi hyungs room. Much to my surprise, he's sat there on his bed with his black ripped skinny jeans and a white tee shirt. Standing in his doorway, he looks over at me with a smile and waves for me to come in.

"H-Hyung?" I mumble as I feel tears welling up. Is he really here right now?

"Come here, Namjoon. We need to talk." He tells me with a small smile on his lips.

"Is everything okay, hyung? I... I thought..." I trail, not entirely sure of anything anymore as I look to the floor, walking over and sitting down on his bed next to him.

"You know I don't blame you for anything, right?" He asks softly as he looks over at me. I frown in confusion, not being able to hold my tears back as I look at him.

"W-What are you talking about, hyung? Yoongi, what's going on?" I question with a shaky voice. He frowns at me, reaching over and wiping away my tears.

"Joonie, you couldn't have stopped me from what I did to myself no matter how hard you would've tried. There's better people out there for you to hang around than me." He tells me, his voice gentle as he speaks.

"Hyung, no. Listen to yourself, do you hear what the hell your saying?" I question, more tears beginning to fall.

"Joonie, you can't make the same mistake I did. I don't want to see you ruin everything you could possibly have going for you just because of me. You're life could be amazing right now, but you're holding onto me too tightly. Don't make the same mistake I did by holding onto someone too tightly when you know you're not getting me back." He says softly, looking over at me with a tiny smile.

"Hyung,... no. You don't understand. Nothings been the same. I don't want anything I have. I'm not making any mistakes. I just need you back and everything's fine. Please don't fucking leave me again like that. Holy shit, that was a lot harder than I would've thought and it's not fucking cool. Don't fucking leave again." I respond, shaking my head at him as I chuckle lowly. However, he merely sighs in response.

"Namjoon, you're not listening. You're making exactly the same mistakes I made. The only difference is that you're hurting yourself in a different way than I did. And, this time you're not only hurting yourself, but you're hurting someone else as well. You're much better off how you are now, but you have to start living again. Nothing is going to get better until you start living again, and others need you to start living again too, Joonie. You have to stop staying stuck in one place for the rest of your life. Stop making the same mistake I did, Joonie. There is no getting me back." He says with a frown before standing up.

At this point, I can hardly see through the tears in my eyes. Standing up with him, I follow him out of the room.

"Hyung, what the hell are you going on about? Have you lost your fucking mind?" I ask, not wanting to believe a damned thing he's saying. Not liking at all the way that he's speaking.

"I really am sorry for leaving you, Joonie. I wish I would've known my mistake before it had been made, but I want you to learn from my mistake. Your life is a lot better the way it is now. You just have to start living it." He informs me, pausing as he speaks and looking back at me with a smile.

With that said, he faces forward once again. My eyes are wide with tears constantly just falling without warning as he walks out the front door. In a last burst to make him stay, I rush to the front door to stop him. But he's already gone...

"HYUNG!" I scream at the top of my lungs, falling to my knees as I begin sobbing.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE AGAIN DAMN IT!" I shout angrily as I begin tugging at the ends of my hair.

Jungkook POV

"HYUNG!" I jolt awake panting with wide eyes as I look around before realizing that it's Namjoon hyung. Wait... hyung?

Frowning, I silently climb out of bed and begin to make my way to his room. Just as I reach his door, I hear him yell again.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE AGAIN DAMN IT!" He shouts.

Worriedly, I open the door without bothering to knock. Looking inside the room, Namjoon hyung is curled up in a ball on his bed seemingly asleep. Only, he seems to be crying in his sleep.

Biting my lip, I walk over to him and sit down on the edge of his bed. Gently shaking him, I'm worried of the kind of dream he could possibly be having.

He jolts awake with wide eyes and panting, similar to how I'd woken up when he yelled the first time. I watch as he immediately sits up and looks around the room before curling himself into a ball and crying again. Tilting my head at the sight, I cautiously reach out and rub his back gently.

He flinches at the contact, freezing for a moment as he looks over at me before covering his face again as he continues crying. Though, now he's eased into my touch.

Biting my lip once again, I wrap an arm around his waist and pull him next to me. He doesn't bother pulling away surprisingly, so I continue with what I'm doing and pull him to my side as I half hold him and rub his back gently in hopes of soon calming my crying hyung down.