Learn To Live Again | Namkook

Chapter 14

Jungkook POV

"I'm always cold to you, and rarely am I exactly per say kind to you. I've yet to be friendly or approachable towards you since you met me. Why the hell are you so kind to me?" Namjoon questions quietly with a frown. I smile at him though, shaking my head lightly.

"Just because you're cold towards me and whatnot, doesn't mean that you don't deserve kindness, hyung. Even if your cold, it doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't make you undeserving of kindness. If anything, in my eyes,... I think it just means that you need the kindness all that much more. Because you're struggling to figure out a way just to be kind to yourself. It doesn't make you a bad person just because you're cold, hyung. I'd always be kind to you and help you, even if you never returned any of it." I explain gently.

I watch as he continues frowning, shaking his head as he looks down at the mug in his hands. I simply tilt my head to the side with a tiny pout on my lips as I watch him in confusion.

"You shouldn't be so nice to me, Jungkook. I don't deserve it." He tells me softly before finally looking back up at me. I just give him a small smile, shaking my head.

"Yes you do, hyung. Everyone does. Some people need it more than others sometimes." I inform him. Though, I can see the pain he's feeling just by looking at his eyes. It was one of those dreams.

"Jungkook,... I- How... How did you handle the death so well? Jin hyung said you lost someone that you were close with, but you seem to do be doing just fine. I... I don't get it. How?" Namjoon suddenly asks, fumbling around a bit for words.

I grow silent at the question, looking down at my mug now as I bite my lip. I don't really remember the last time I had to talk about his death. I'm not exactly a fan of it either.

"It's definitely not the easiest feat ever, hyung. I'm sure you know that by now... He... passed away three years ago actually. It was really hard when it first happened. I... I was scared when it first happened." I start softly, a small smile on my face at the end as I remember how afraid I became.

"Losing him,... I became afraid I was going to lose the rest of my friends as well. I worried that, if I'd somehow managed to lose him that... somehow I'd end up losing the others as well. But... He taught me a lot of things and taught me how to really appreciate life. He's actually the reason I'm pursuing a degree in photography now." I continue, a smile on my face as I recall those times we'd do silly things or when he'd point random as hell things out to me.

"I decided that, even though he's gone... I know he's still watching over me. And I know he'd still want me to appreciate every little thing that I possibly could. After he was gone, it wasn't hard to appreciate everything around me. It hurt, not having him there with me anymore, but it was kind of like a wake up call. I just try to appreciate everything around me, everything that I can before it's gone." I conclude, finally looking back up at him.

"Jungkook, I need your help." He chokes out, tears forming in his eyes again. I frown in confusion.

"Of course, hyung. What is it?" I ask softly, worried for what's going on inside his head right now.

It was exactly like one of these nights that Jimin hyung asked me if I'd always stay strong for him no matter what happened. That he asked me to always appreciate life and every -thing and -one that I have around me.

I didn't even know... I had no idea he'd meant... I'd thought it'd just been because of a dream he'd had that night... I never would've guessed...

"I need you to teach me how to live again... I want you to teach me how to appreciate everything around us like you do... Please." He requests, his voice cracking as he speaks.

I didn't know I'd been holding my breath until that moment. Breathing a sigh of relief, tears fill my eyes as well. I had no idea I'd ever be so grateful to hear those words come from him instead of something else.

Setting my mug down on beside table, I take his and do the same before sitting beside him and pulling him into a tight hug. He immediately breaks down crying, sobs racking through his body as he wraps his arms around my waist and hides his face in my shoulder.

Holding onto him tightly, I rub his back gently in small circular motions as I try to hold back my tears. Though, a few tears manage to slip anyways. I just ignore them as I hold onto Namjoon, comforting him as best I can until he finally calms down.

Eventually, he finally pulls away hesitantly. I give him a small smile as I look up at him, reaching up and wiping away his tears.

"I'd love to help you, hyung."