It'll Never Be The Same

Hospital

Reid POV

**Still in Flashback**

I arrive in to the hospital and was taken care of right away. They wanted me to change into a hospital gown and put my clothing in a bad. I made sure to hide the vials of Dilaudid in different areas of the bag. I can't let anyone find them.

**Time Skip 2 hours**

The doctors want to keep me for the a few days for observations. I'm in a room alone, stuck in my thought. All I could think about was what happened while out in the woods. About the way it felt to be cuffed to the chair, the fear, the feeling of safety and relief when Tobias gave me the dilaudid.

"Hey Reid." I hear beside me door being pulled from thought. I look over to see Derek.

"Hey" I said giving a small smile.

He makes his way over to the chair besides my bed. "How are you feeling?" He questioned looking worried.

"I'm fine. I'll be out tomorrow." I said looking for my phone.

"What are you looking for?"

"My phone." I replied still looking around

"Oh" Derek got up and made his way over to my bag "I saw it in your...." He trailed off looking at something "bag" he finished. Derek turn to me with a vial of my Dilaudid in his hand.

"Its nothing Derek" I said getting out of bed and taking it from him. I shoved it back in my bag and grabbed my phone.

"I'd like to be alone" I whispered.

"No" Derek spat at me.

"What do you mean no?" I began to get angry.

"What the fuck Spencer. Dilaudid. You know that is addictive. Why do you have it? Are you using or something?" He asked raising his voice.

"What does it matter to you. You don't care about me. You don't care what happens. No body does. I'm just a tool the team uses." I started yelling. "Why should you care? It's not like I'm anything special. It's not like I mean anything. Y'all will leave me, everyone does, even my own father." I whispered the ending.

"Spencer, you know that's not..." Derek started to say before I cut him off.

"Fuck off Derek. Just leave me alone. NOW!!" I yelled at him. Derek just frowned and walked out of my room.

I allowed the tear in my eye to finally fall. I don't want to be here. I just don't.

For the rest of the hospital stay no one came to see me.