It'll Never Be The Same

Just one more time

Reid's POV

I wake up in the hospital hooked up to an IV. I look around the room and see Derek sleeping next to me. After a few minutes he wakes up looking at me.  He seems so sad. His normal happy smile is turned to a sour frown, and his bright eyes are now grey and gloomy. He tries to manage a smile while I frown at him. After a second he lets his smile fall.

"I'm fine. I can manage it this time. I was in pain and it helped." I quickly explained to him.

"Spencer, you're an addict. You don't have it under control. You'll never have it under control while using and you know it. Fuck dude."  Derek yells at me.

"You know what, fuck off Derek. You don't get to tell at me. I am not an addict. I am fine. Stay out of it. It's non of your business." I spat out at him. Derek angrily gets up to leave. Before he does he turns and looks at me.

"It is my business Spencer. I'm your boyfriend. I'm your team member. All I want is to take care of my boyfriend. Let me do that."

"What if I don't want it to be your business anymore?" I asked.

Derek looked at me confused. "What, you want to break up?" He questioned. Pain written all over his face. I stayed quiet waiting for him to leave. He shook his head and walked out.  After a few moments a doctor walks in to see how I was doing.

**Time Skip:2 days**

I spent two days in the hospital. I broke my lower back and my right leg. I have some nerve damage because of the break.

Derek refuses to see me, but Penelope and JJ have made it a point to come by everyday. The rest of the team has gone home. Derek was made to stay due to his head injury. But after the 2 days we were on our way home. My doctor prescribed me Dilaudid for the pain but I haven't told anyone. They don't need to know.

"Spence, you okay?" JJ asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I smile and nod at her while sitting on our new jet.  I was scared, but I wasn't about to let anyone know that. I remember I had my Dilaudid in my bag so I excuse myself to the bathroom.

Before I knew it, I was sitting there taking my medication for the high. I know Derek was right, but it helps me forget seeing Giddion the way I did. It's been hard and I can't do it without this.

After 5 minutes, I walk out of the bathroom and make my way to my seat. JJ smiles at me and I smile back. If only she knew what I just did in there. She may never forgive me.

I can feel eyes on me so I look up to see Derek staring at me with his angry eyes. I know he's disappointed in me. I fucked up, but I'm not giving up Dilaudid to make him happy with me. If I have to, I will do this alone.