The Change {Louis Tomlinson~AU~PUNK~}

Chapter 38: My World

Chapter song-

Use Somebody-cover by-One Direction

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*JESSE'S POV*

I wake up. I look next to me and I don't see Louis.

"Are you okay?" His voice frightens me.

I look at him as he stands at the end of the bed with a glass of ice water.

"Yeah." I tell him.

He walks over to my side of the bed and sets the water on the bedside table next to me.

He sits on the side of the bed next to me.

"What was wrong last night?" He asks me. His eyes fill with sadness.

"Nothing. It was just a nightmare." I tell him as I sigh.

"What about?" He asks.

I take a deep breath and start, "You. You were dead." I tell him. I keep my eyes on the back of the couch, staring blankly, not wanting to look into his eyes.

"Why'd you dream that?" He asks.

"Well I've missed you, and we had that fight on the phone." I honestly tell him.

"Do you need anything else?" He asks. He sounds like he's kind of trying to avoid me even though he's sitting next to me.

I shake my head in response.

I look at him and see that he looks distant.

He doesn't notice as I look at him. He keeps his eyes on the ground.

He frowns.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"Nothing." He says in a monotone voice as he moves his eyes to mine.

I worry about him, a lot!

I feel a worry line make it's way onto my face.

His guard is up. I can't tell his emotion anymore. My chest tightens. Why does he always become so distant?!

"Why do you always do that?" I ask him. My voice cracks at the end.

"Do what?" He annoyingly asks. And he replaces the mystery with anger, fantastic!

"Do that! You put that fucking mask on! Why don't you let me help?! You push everyone away!" My voice raises only the slightest.

He always gets so fucking pissed!

"It's just easier! I don't trust anybody!" He slightly shouts.

"So you don't trust me? You need to let people in! You don't have trust everybody but you should trust your friends, family and me. Why don't you trust me?" I tell him calmly.

He gets up and makes his way to the door with me following him.

"Louis, please." I say as I grab his wrist.

He sighs.

"Lou, I just want you to know that I'm here and I will help you with anything. Same with your band." I explain.

"Please tell me what you're thinking of?" I ask desperately wanting him to let his feelings flow.

He decides to sit down on the ground and I mirror his actions and sit next to him. I lean on his arm.

"It's just I hate having to leave you. Next week we arrive in America and Chicago is the third show in America we do. But I need you. I miss you. And I'm also worried about you. I don't want you to find some other lad and go kiss the shit bag. I need you. You're the only girl I've loved this much. Jesse you practically have saved me from myself and you're still saving me. I hate leaving you, I can't get enough sleep, I'm not as happy, I feel sick to my stomach, and I hurt when you're not with me. I love touring and I love my fans but I hate this hole in my heart when you're not there." His voice cracks at the end.