The Princess And The Slave | Ot4

🥀22🥀

^Don't think I've done a gif of luke so here is. It's my precious wittle penguin^

I'm sorry, this chapter isn't going to be that good, I'm sick and feel like shit.

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How was Michael supposed to start this conversation, he went behind his doms back to go with Ashton and Calum. His life was messed up.

Frank and Gerard were pacing back and forth while Michael was sitting on the sofa with his head hung down in shame.

Michael's mind was running wild, his thoughts brewing like a storm. He couldn't help but think this was his fault, he's making everything even worse why couldn't he have stayed with Ashton and Calum in the first place.

He doesn't really understand why his mind always thinks the worst, he always puts himself down but i guess everything is true to begin with. It is his fault, he did go behind Frank and Gerard's back to go on a date with Calum and Ashton. That could as well be a sick joke they're playing on him.

"How could you Michael." Gerard said as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Im sorry ok i just... i can't help but love them still and im sorry but im so fucking in love with them. No matter what i do or what i try nothing works and i still love them."

Frank sighed as he looked at the younger boy. "I'm not mad." he declared.

"Your not?" Michael was confused, he was waiting for them to yell at him and punish him.

"No, I'm not I just want you to choose ok. We both care about you Mikey and if you choose them then that's fine ok but we are still going to be friends I want you to come over and talk to us ok, promise me Mikey." Frank said as he looked at the sub.

"I promise."

Michael didn't have to say anything because Frank and Gerard already know what Michael chose.

After Michael, Frank, and Gerard had a great talk, Michael went to sleep but he couldn't wrap his head around what happened.

He was still so scared that when he comes back to Ashton and Calum there just going to hurt him again and it's going to be an endless circle of pain and misery. It's not his fault to think that his whole life he's been let down and he's lost his faith for finding happiness so it's not all his fault.

Michael tossed and turned as he couldn't fall asleep, his mind was too distracted from all the scenarios of what could happen if Michael goes back to Ashton and Calum. He was having a full on war in his head.

Michael sighed as he once again tried going to sleep but was once more let down as he couldn't fall asleep. His mind wouldn't shut off as it was too focused on Ashton and Calum. Ashton Irwin, where does he start Ashton and his honey-colored hair and his alluring hazel eyes he's too beautiful for anyone. Ashton has some problems that Michael knows of but that doesn't mean Michael loves him any less Ashton's just misjudge, yes he's hurt Michael quite a lot but not as much as his parents or kids from schools. Calum Hood and his beautiful fucking brown eyes. People say that brown eyes are boring but when it comes to Calum's eyes Michael can't get enough he could look at them forever. Michael truly loves them both equally but that's what scares him the most.

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It was 3 in the morning as Michael and Luke were smoking some cigarettes on the bridge that they always go to ever since they were kids. They would go here when one of them was having trouble sleeping or just didn't want to be alone, it was mostly Michael calling Luke but Luke didn't care, he loved Michael and would do anything for the older sub.

Michael was just watching the dark waters below as he let a puff of smoke out of his pink plump lips. Every time Michael breathed in the cancer stick, he could feel his lungs burning but that's exactly why he did it he loved the feeling it helped him become calm and not worried all the time. "Have you ever thought about jumping?" Michael questioned as his mind was in a haze. Michael's mind wasn't scared with all of his thoughts anymore it was clear only just random thoughts popped up now and then. Michael wanted to jump off the bridge a lot, he's never done it obviously but he wants to he wants to know what the cold waters would feel like against his skin as he would finally be gone from his life and that he would finally be dead. He wanted to know what the wind would feel like against his pale skin as he jumped off the bridge, he wanted to feel the wind blowing fast around him as he fell into the waters. He wanted to feel like he was flying as he plummeted to the cold dark waters that were under the bridge.

"No," Luke said. Even when he was this calm while smoking he still worried for his friend, it was like everything they smoked Michael let out all of his thought... dark thoughts and that scared Luke beyond anything he was scared because Michael could come up with the darkest things to say and not once act like it was scary for a child to have these thoughts.

"I do, sometimes I just want to jump and let the water take me to wherever to all my pain will be gone," Michael said as a small smile lingered on his lips as he breathed in more of the cigarette.

"You'd be dead, Michael." Luke said as he looked at the older sub.

"Ya so, dead would be better than here," Michael said as he blew out the smoke. He was calm, and he loved it he loved the calmness and how his lungs burned for oxygen.

Luke was so fucking worried, he was worried that one day Michael will actually be gone, because he couldn't handle the pain anymore. He was scared, he didn't want to admit to himself that just one day Michael might not be alive anymore, he was scared beyond belief as he thought about a world without him. He was scared because he couldn't imagine a life without Michael Clifford in it.

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Sorry guys this is a little short my bad, I'm just feeling like absolute crap. I'm really sorry this is sad ;(