the inner workings of my mind and soul.

default

i go back to you. it's like you are my default and that's  not fair. it's not fair to you  or to me. because you love, deserve someone who makes you their go to person for everything. not someone who puts you in their back pocket and only pulls you out when their world is falling apart. you deserve someone who comes squealing in the room when they haven't seen you for ages and won't stop hugging you because they can't believe you are real. you deserve someone who is comfortable enough around you that they don't feel the need to talk all the time but genuinely enjoys the silence. you derserve someone who you light up for and the weight that you are carrying becomes instantly lighter whenever they walk in the room. i am not that person for you. i never was, nor could i ever hope to be that person for you. because in truth that  was never who i was supposed to be to you, nor you to me. we weren't meant for each other and that  is okay. we were meant to lead the 
other to the person who would do all of this and more for each other. we were meant to break each other  open for the next one. that is what we were. we were a beautiful, tragic, at the wrong time and place mess. never  meant to stay in one anothers lives for more than a season.