Rattling Bones (Nico Di Angelo Love Story)

Chapter 16

Willow's POV 

Reminder Willow's name will most likely change and gender for sure, so any name suggestions you can leave in the sparse comments that there are. His dry remarks easily reminded her that things were still normal. Not everything had changed. Not everything. Even if they didn't know each other for long it seemed constant.

 "And about that, the whole gender confusion? I'm not the best to go to about that, but since I'm a steaming pile of gay- I know some people who might be able to help you figure things out." 

Today Nico was saying a lot more than any other day. It was pleasant. And although they were slightly thrown off by how nonchalant Nico had thrown his sexuality out there, they took it in graciously and their eyes met Nico's , curving upwards.

Willow kind of knew a starting point was for all this. Back before Camp Half Blood Maria often let them do whatever they wanted, since the sad woman made her food and took care of her but didn't pay too much attention to what she did. The woman tried her best, but she'd never be a mother again. Willow gave her all to not blaming her but there were some moments of weakness where they couldn't help but be mad and frustrated. Bratty.

So basically, being on YouTube led Willow to watching Miles McKenna and other queer or trans youtubers. Willow would watch videos about what being trans felt like, and lots of times relate. Of course they had utter body dysphoria, and it was really annoying at times. The thing is, they would always walk and all they could feel were these three things. Their thighs, stomach, and chest. It distracted them so easily just because whenever they'd walk they'd put their shoulders up and walk weird so that they felt more flat chested but then their stomach would feel huge. They were more bottom heavy and looking at their legs filled them with utter despair. Don't get them started on showers. An accidental glance in the the mirror and all they could see was fat and slight curves. Don't get them wrong, at 12 (their birthday had passed this year without celebration) there was barely any boob to be upset about but it just was THERE so it sucked. It sucked ass. So Willow was pretty sure here that they were a boy. Years of being irritated by adults calling them ma'am or miss, even girl; and that feeling of irrational shock and pride whenever called bro or dude. Whatever. Willow had known for years they weren't a girl. It had just been hard to realize they were a boy. Not something simple to wrap your head around. "Sorry erm, but I think I understand shit and I can figure it out myself... you've got harder things to deal with, I shouldn't be putting this on you."

They felt hands grab their shoulders and shake them, bringing their eyes up to his in shock. "I'm fucking proud of you okay? Not everyone has the courage to come out to themselves, let alone a friend." They couldn't smell anything very well so all that was in Willow's head was what Nico might smell like. Lavender? Lemongrass mint..? Maybe caramel. She could smell caramel and marzipan and it gave her that weird wave of happiness you sometimes get watching someone you adore do something online. Death lmao fucking hell. Nico backed up and put his hands in his lap, avoiding eye contact with the same grim face he had worn every day since they met. A brief moment of pride he had felt towards Willow. This was a journey they'd need to go through on their own. "Thanks Nico," they said begrudgingly. "I guess the first step is to change my pronouns with people. I wonder if they'd understand. Well, I mean I need to find a binder, and then cut my hair. I've been wanting to since I was like 10 Jesus okay I need to get myself together. Erm,,, yeah so I can cut my hair if I ask someone from the Aphrodite cabin.. Piper is an Aphrodite kid right? Shit I'm scared of everyone how will this e-even-even work? And I mean I don't have much chest so binders can come later I gotta calm down I gotta calm down-" The determined child muttered to themself, now risen and tapping their fingers rhythmically against the vines grown not even a day ago. God how they hated the word boobs. Or tits, or anything related to girl body parts. Nico just made sweeping eye contact and pushed Willow forward. "Move."

As a poetic person if they felt anxious or inspired by scenery or objects or people their immediate reaction was 'how can i put this in a song or Story?' It's tiring to face truth. Right now was one of those times for the now confirmed boy he guessed. Purple. Rattling teeth and knobby knees, knocking bones and pretty trees. Heaving thoughts hurled into their mind. Their mind felt like a constant screaming but they could handle it. The two demigods? stalked forward and no explanation was offered. "We're going to find Piper and Leo," he offered, grumbling. "And I don't want to talk about my mom or sister anymore, got it?" He didn't give them a chance to turn around and see what Nico's face looked like, how he was feeling, because Willow ran right into another demigod. Travis. What perfect timing. "Uh-h-hey Travis do you by any chance know where Piper is?" Willow really didn't want to see Leo after everything that had gone down in the bunker. Travis giggled in that hearty and childish way of his, but he had grown since childhood. Seen war and Willow could not imagine how many more people here had seen their friends die. "As articulate as ever, I see. I just saw her hanging out with Jason in the Zeus cabin. Only glances of course, it's huge and scarily protected from viewers." A quick wave, Travis flashing a slightly yellowed grin (he still didn't brush his teeth well), and they separated, Nico and Willow heading over to the big cabin.
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A/N SPOILER IF YOU HAVE NOT READ TRIALS OF APOLLO: I'm aware that when this takes place (between the lost hero mark of Athena) Nico's not at camp half blood but this is my own storyline right now because otherwise it'd be too complicated since the trials of apollo have already come out and there's already an end and Half the characters aren't in camp anymore anyways :-")