Yoooooo
So yes, as you can probably guess, I am emotionally unstable.
I'm also depressed and have no motivation, so I have a lot of homework and projects and essays that I haven't started and I don't have much time until winter break, gang gang amiright?
Also, it feels like I have no time, and no time + no motivation = not good for my health.
I took the day of from school today to get work done, and even though I did get some work done, I didn't get enough done to get caught up because I gave up after lunch and just watched Dan and Phil play The Sims 4 :) yay good job me. I also have 2 days to finish everyone's Christmas presents and I hateeeeeee myself and this time of year and uuuugggghhhhh.
Also, along with being depressed, I'm in the musical, which means practice everyday after school AND I just got a job which means, more time being a giant emotionally unstable ball of anxiety. Also, less time at home to be EVEN MORE DEPRESSED because my home does not give off good vibes for me. I'm always depressed and unmotivated when I am inside this house and I have currently not left the house in over 24 hours, so even though I have a research project to present tomorrow that hasn't been started and I will most likely not do it, hopefully tomorrow will be a good day because I will get out of this house that feels like it is dragging me down.
*sigh*
Life's not great right now. OH also, last night instead of doing homework *cough cough* I decorated the Christmas tree with my family!!!!! Except my younger brother put his ornaments up as fast as possible so he could go back to playing fortnite, my sister was stalling as much as possible because she didn't want to decorate, there isn't a place to put our mini Christmas town so my parents decided to just leave it in a tote this year, and I was basically on the verge of tears and a panic attack the whole time. I think it's safe to say this has probably been this worst time ever, but I only have a few days of school left before break (but even then I can't relax because I have a job now *screams and cries and breaks glass*) and I really hope we have a good Christmas as a family (even though I'm constantly on the verge of a mental/emotional/physical breakdown and I honestly do not know how I am still alive and "functioning")
Also I feel like I have nobody to rant to, which sucks, but also it's definitely my fault because I don't ever feel the need to get close to people until I need to rant and then the one person I can rant to isn't stable enough to listen and I'm not close enough to anyone else, so instead I just rant to nobody and post it on wattpad 🙃
ALSO I still haven't learned the choreo for the musical that I missed last Friday and tomorrow we have another choreo day (I think) ooooffff
