I just re-read all of the chapters that I've written this school year and I realized that most of the things I've written are very repetitive and the month of April feels very similar stress and mental health-wise to the month of February except some things have changed in a good way and I'm happy at where I am in life right now kind of but I'm also very stressed and depressed and anxious and insecure and a lot of other negative feelings toward myself, so I don't really know anymore.
Also if y'all were wondering... yes I still have a giant fucking crush and yes I still think about her all the fucking time and I really wish I could just kiss her or hold her hand but I'm pretty sure she's a straight one so... yeah we love that. Also I feel like I'm annoying to my managers because I keep asking for days off also I still need to ask if they can get someone to cover for me on Saturday...... ooof I wanna cry I feel like a little kid and I hate it. I feel like people are scolding me like a little kid but not praising me like a little kid and I don't appreciate the negativity but THE FUNNY THING IS nobody has scolded me like a little kid I'm just imagining it in my head because that's how I feel they look at me. I am emotionally unstable yet again. I need some fucking help.
