Hi it's March 1st of my senior year and I'm depressed and senior year has low key been the worst year of my life. I've become disconnected to everything and I feel like I've lost all of my friends, not because they don't like me but because I just don't have the energy to spend time with them because I feel like I have to be this person who is quiet and never talks about her feelings and I've engrained that person so much into my brain that whenever I do let my feelings out to anyone I feel like I'm manipulating them because I never talk about my feelings so why am I doing it? And I hate saying that this is the worst year of my life because I got a girlfriend this year! And she is actually amazing and I love her so much. But I feel like I'm weighing her down. I feel like me being sad makes her sad. And she knows I don't know what I want to do with my life, so now she feels bad when she wants to talk about what she wants to do because she doesn't want me to feel bad but I WANT HER TO TALK ABOUT WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO it doesn't make me sad it makes me so incredibly proud and happy for her and I just wish she didn't feel like she has to hold back on talking about her dreams and passions. I just feel like there are so many things that I should be doing that I'm not and in a year I'm going to regret everything that I didn't do but also everything I did because I just feel like I'm choosing all of the wrong things.
