My Girl (Jonathan Toews)

15

Jon

My life has always been dependent on hockey. How I was doing with my numbers, how my team was doing in the standings. I read every paper and watched every interview to see how I was doing compared to others. I cared too much about what people said about me and my team, always thought I had to conform to what the fans or the higher up positions wanted from me. I thought that was the only way I can be this guy everyone said I would be.

And as it turns out hockey is still just a game at the end of the day. I can go and play my ass off and put my body on the line during a game then come home and help Kimmy with her reading homework. I can hit the gym after a bad game then go home and ask Alexis to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie with me and she'll do it. Hockey is a huge part of me, but it isn't my life. My girls... they're my life.

"Momma... I'm gonna tell you something and you're not going to be happy with me" I admit as I sigh into the phone. I've been fretting this call for some time now but it had to be done sooner rather than later.

"Oh god... did you get a girl pregnant" she asks and I gasp loudly.

"No! Have a little faith in me" I beg.

"Alright. Well it can't be that bad then" she claims.

"I'm trying to tell you that I have a girlfriend. Like a serious girlfriend. Her and her sister have been living with me for over two months now and I love them both very much" I say.

The line goes silent as I wait for her response but I'm sure she needed some time to let it all sink in.

"Is she nice" is all she asks and I smile.

"The nicest. She loves her sister more than anything and will do anything to make sure she's going to be okay. She's a incredibly talented figure skater and she's trying out to be in the Olympics" I explain.

"Woah. That sounds big" she says.

"It's huge. And she actually has one competition before nationals out in Manitoba" I say.

"Are you finally going to introduce me to your girlfriend who my lovely son so kindly never told me about" she shuns and I laugh.

"Alright, I deserved that" I admit. "And it would mean a lot to me if you could meet her there" I insist.

"I'll be there, but only because I'm a better person than you" she claims. I'll try not to take that too personally.

I get off the phone with her and go into the living room to close out the night. Kimberly and Alexis were cuddled up in their matching PJ's we all just got and I smile to myself. I change into my PJ's that matches theirs before closing my door behind me. I jump on the couch scaring Alexis as she sends me a glare.

"What" I ask.

"You suck" she whines as she throws a pillow at me nailing me in the face.

"What are you watching" I ask.

"Paranormal Activity" she says and I laugh.

"You're letting Kim watch this" I question.

"She's perfectly fine. I'm the one that's freaking out" she insists.

"I keep telling her that ghosts aren't real but she still freaks out on me" Kimmy whispers to me.

"I heard that" Lexi mumbles.

"Come here" I insist as I open my arms. She crawls across her sister and into my lap and I wrap my arms around her. I hold her close as she covers her eyes with the blanket she was holding. I can tell she was scared but she really wanted to watch the movie.

Somehow, someway, Kim falls asleep on the couch in Alexis' lap while she was in mine. The movie eventually finishes and she lets out a long sigh.

"Well I'm not sleeping any time soon" she admits.

"That's fine. We can just watch Disney channel and say it's because of Kimmy even though she's asleep" I suggest and she smiles.

"You're perfect" she claims.

We watch some Disney channel before we too get sleepy. There was a game in town tomorrow but no morning skate since the games are so close together with the lockout. We didn't need to find line combos because everything we've done so far is working. So I could sleep in and maybe make some breakfast with my girls in the morning.

"Can I tell you something" she asks groggily as her eyes fight to stay open.

"Of course baby" I assure her as I softly run my fingers through her hair.

"I've never been in love before. I've never felt something towards someone who isn't my family that is stronger than attraction. And I couldn't figure out why, I was passionate and loved many things. I didn't understand why I couldn't seem to fall in love with people.

I realized that I've never fell in love because love isn't something you create, it's not something you can do. If it's not there there's nothing I can do to make love magically appear. It's a way you feel, and it's not something that you can control. It takes over you and it changes everything. It changes how you think, how you act, how you live. Falling in love is so scary but it's so beautiful too.

I thought I would never fall in love because I didn't know what it meant. Maybe I was in love at one point and I just didn't know it. Maybe it just wasn't what I wanted it to be. But I can't deny that you... you are the love of my life. That night we met and I agreed to do anything to help my sister, I would do the same just to be with you. That's true love.

And I couldn't figure out why I felt the way I did around you. Why my heart always beats faster and my lips always pull tighter. I didn't get why you make me so nervous whenever I do something for you and I'm not sure how it'll go. I was confused as to why for the first time in my life I wanted to be more that I could ever be and it wasn't even for me.

And it's all because I love you Jon. I might not know a lot about love or how to handle it, but I do know that I love you" she whispers as she looks up at me. Her bright blue eyes sparkle as she pours her heart out to me. It's still fragile but she trusted me with it and I wasn't going to let her down.

"I love you too baby" I reply and she smiles real big. I pull her into a long kiss before she moves a little. Kimberly starts to stir and we reluctantly had to break apart.

"Did the ghosts win" she mumbles as she wakes up making me laugh.

"Not this time kiddo" I say.

"Good" she nods.

"Let's get you into bed" Alexis insists as she gets up from the couch. She picks up Kimmy as she obviously acts like she's asleep so her sister had to carry her to her room. Alexis tucks her into bed before leaving her be. She still had to brush her teeth and she hates sleeping with her hair down so she wasn't quite ready to go to bed yet.

"Goodnight Lex. I love you" I say and she smile really big.

"Love you too."