Sometimes things don't work out the way they were supposed to be. Just ask Alexis Martin, a 24 year old girl who has been left to fight for her life more times than anyone should be. And although she has talent and she has aspirations, she can't see...
A year ago today I met Jonathan on what seemed to be the darkest night of my life. And in the darkness there he stood, a ray of light here for me to bask in. To guide me to where I needed to be.
And although it wasn't pretty at first, I can now sit here a year later and thank god for giving me everything I needed and putting it in Jonathan and sending him to me when I needed him most.
"Oh Lexi" Jon calls out into our bedroom.
"Yes honey" I tease from the bathroom.
"The baby sitter is here. Are you ready to go" he questions.
"Yeah. I'll be out in a second" I say as I take one last look in the mirror. I smile to myself once I can get the whole look together.
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After deciding this will have to do I head out of the bathroom. I find Jonathan waiting outside the door for me not so very patiently.
"I'm ready" I show him as I lift my arms out to show him what I put together.
"I'm not" he claims as he walks over to me. "I was at first, but as soon as I saw you I was ready to stay back home with you" he claims and I start to blush.
"I think we deserve a date night. We only get to celebrate this occasion once and we're about to leave for Boston for Nationals. We need a night out" I insist.
"Fine. But after the date..." he trails off.
"You can get me out of this dress as fast as you can" I promise and he smiles big.
"Perfect."
After making sure everything is set with the baby sitter we had in the building we head into town to Jonathan's favorite restaurant. We sit in the back and order some wine and our meals. We look out over the water as the cool Chicago winter reeks havoc on this city like it does every year.
But I had a smile as I look into this city that was pretty unforgiving up until a year ago today. Almost at this very hour to be exact. And now I'm in the nicest restaurant in the city more in love than I ever imagined ready to continue my life on as is.
"I love when you smile like that" Jon starts and I turn my attention back to him.
"Like what" I wonder.
"Like there's no reason you're smiling. You're doing it because you can. I always thought you had the most beautiful smile in the world, I just never saw it much at first. But this smile you have now, it's contagious. Every time you smile I smile and I can't tell you why. Maybe I'm happy that you're happy, happy you're mine, just happy to be around you. I don't know. Whatever it is I hope it never changes" he admits.
"You make me smile. Just knowing you" I say and he smiles back at me.
"Well I'm happy you feel that way."
After a while the wine got sweeter and the giggles turn to laughs. Neither of us hardly touch our food because just talked and talked. And it's not that we don't get to spend time with each other, I see him every day he's here and we face time when he's not, it's just that we never get to talk about the things we want because Kimberly is a sponge and our friends are over bearing.
But he truly was my favorite person to be around. His mind is beautiful, it's filled with things so great and so wonderful. I love his stories and his perspective of things. It's refreshing to have someone who is a original, not a carbon copy. He's real and he's funny and I'm the luckiest girl in the world because he only shows me that.
"Are you ready for nationals? Because right after that it's the Olympics" he reminds me.
"I think I'm ready. If I do good this weekend then my spot is locked and we're ready to go. I just got make sure I don't fall on my ass" I giggle.
"You won't. You were born for moments like these and to do great in them. You're gonna kill it" he insists.
"I sure hope so. I don't know what I would do if I blew this" I sigh.
"You're an amazing person Lex, you would be just fine" he insists.
"If you didn't do hockey, what would you do" I wonder and he shrugs.
"I don't know, I only went to college for a year and it was for hockey. My whole life has been revolved around this sport" he claims.
"Alright. Then say you tear your acl and the doctors tell you that you'll never be the same again. That if you go back on the ice you'll never be able to give 100% again. What would you do" I ask and he stops. He sets his wine glass down and I can just see how uncomfortable he got. He's never had to think of a future without hockey in it and how here I am asking him what he would do.
And it scares him, as it should. It scares every athlete when they hear that they have to have their knee reconstructed and they'll never be the same again. I just asked him to take the one thing away that he's always so sure about. He shouldn't feel comfortable, he should feel awful, just as I did.
"I'm sorry, but I can't imagine a life with no hockey" he admits.
"Sometimes you don't have a choice. All you have are the things that are there for you and can't leave" I explain.
"Like you" he asks and I smile.
"Yeah... like me" I admit.
"If I was told I couldn't play hockey anymore I would take you and run away. Not forever, you're still a skater and I want you to skate. But I would grab you and Kimberly and we would start up a new life. One where hockey isn't a part of it anymore. We would start a family and teach little kids to skate. We can show them how a strong mind is just as important as a strong body.
I wouldn't be a waste. I would take what I know and help other people know it too. Still be involved in hockey, just not as a player" he explains
"I can see you coaching" I admit and he smiles.
"My team would hate me" he insists.
"As do all the best coaches and kids. You think everyone loves Q at first" I question.
"I was scared shitless of him. That stare he gives when you're in trouble, man, I get chills thinking about it" he admits.
"And you would be just as effective as him" I insist.
"I don't know. I feel like when I'm done skating I'll take a step back. Work with the little kids, the future of hockey. Professional hockey is fun, but watching over grown ass men is exhausting. I would love to get back to my roots, remember why I played the game for so long" he claims.
