My Girl (Jonathan Toews)

41

Alexis

I sit in my car outside of the practice rink tapping my finger on the steering wheel. I see my parents standing outside the front of the rink waiting for me probably trying to talk again. I had sent a sos to Jonny not too long ago but I wasn't sure if he was still in there for practice or not. The players parked out back and I wasn't allowed back there so I can't see his car. I didn't want to have to face my parents alone but I couldn't ignore them for the rest of my life either. I needed some kind of closure, something to tell me that I'm not just being a super butt hurt.

I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear a knock on my window breaking me out of my trance. I look up and see Jonathan standing there with a worried expression on his face. His growing hair was stuck to his forehead like he just got out the shower and he had some Blackhawks warm ups on.

"What's going on" he asks as I open the door and I let out a sigh. I get out the car but pull him to the side opposite of the car.

"You see that couple sitting in front of the rink" I ask as Jon peaks his head over the car.

"Yeah. They were out here yesterday too" he admits and I just shake my head. Kimberly had the day off from school yesterday so I wasn't here Because we were hanging out. And it looks like they aren't leaving until they get what they want. "Do you know those people" he wonders.

"I used to" I admit as he looks at me weird. "Those are my parents" I explain and his confused look turns into a shocked one. He looks at them and then me before looking back at them.

"Your parents!?! What are they doing here" he questions.

"They're probably still trying to talk to me" I admit and he freezes.

"What do you mean still? They've been contact with you recently" he quizzes me. I try to avoid eye contact but he knows me better than that. So he pulls my chin up so I look into his eyes and I easily break.

"That couple at the game I was talking to the other day wasn't a set of parents from a kid in Kimberly's class. They were my parents and they went through the lengths of buying hawks tickets and waiting around the hockey game trying to track me down" I explain and his eyes go big. I couldn't read his expression, if he was mad that I lied or that he was concerned that they found me. He was like the Koran in its native language to me.

"Why didn't you tell me" he asks seeming very hurt.

"Because I am terrified" I whisper.

"You're terrified of what" he questions.

"Of them being in my life again. Of them doing something to get back at me because I told them that they'll never be a part of my life. Scared that you'll realize I'm not worth all of this-" I start.

"Stop right there missy" he threatens as he points a finger at me. I let out a defeated sigh as my head drops. "You're worth anything life has to throw at me. Without you I wouldn't be the man I am today, and for the first time in my life I can say that I am proud of that man. You make me more than a hockey player, you make me a brother to Kimberly and a boyfriend to you. You make me want to be better so I can hear you tell me that you're proud of me. You make me want to learn things just to keep up with you. You make me see this world for everything I can make it out to be and not everything it is.

And just as you are everything to me, they mean nothing to you. By you letting them get in your head you're giving them what they want. You're stronger than this" he insists.

"Am I" I question. "Because I feel pretty weak right now."

"That's not weakness. That's feeling you have is betrayal, that's anger, that's disappointment. You wanted your parents for so long and now that they're here you want nothing to do with them. You feel guilty for thinking this, but not so deep down you know this is right. You can be strong, you're the strongest person I know" he assures me as he grabs my shoulders. He pulls me into his chest and I quickly wrap my arms around him. I sniffle away my tears as I tangle my fingers in his shirt.

"What do I do" I whisper.

"End this, now" he claims.

"Can you come with me" I question.

"Of course baby. I'm right here for you" he promises.

I grab his hand and he gives me a good squeeze. We slowly walk over to the entrance where my parents were standing. I focus on my breathing as we stop right in front of them. No one says anything for a while as we try to figure out where this is going.

"What do I need to do for you to leave me alone... for good" I question.

"We just want a second chance" my dad claims.

"You has a second chance the first day you were gone then every day after that. Five years is entirely too many chances for you to make things right. There's nothing that will give me my time back, my innocence back, Kimberly her parents back. There's no starting over now. It's done" I explain.

"If you won't let us help doesn't that make you just as bad as me" my mom asks.

"No. Because unlike you everything I do is unselfish" I defend.

"You mean like letting your boyfriend support you and your sister because you don't hold a job" she questions.

"Hold on" Jon interrupts. "The only reason any of this happened to her was because you guys couldn't handle the fact that you were nothing without her skating and she still could have done something with her life given the chance. I asked her to move in with me and I told her not to take jobs because I wanted her focused on making it to the Olympics. Everything we do, we do it together. We do it for each other. The name she's made she's made it for sister, not in spite of you or for herself. She's the most unselfish person I know" Jon defends.

"This isn't about you" my mom argues.

"It is. Alexis and Kimberly has more to do in my life than yours. Therefore you harassing Lexi is very much about me" Jon argues.

"We just want peace" my mom claims.

"There's no peace" I promise. "There's no recoiling or making up. I am going to continue on without you like I have for the past five years and you're going to have learn to live with the fact that you gave up too soon. Everything we worked for I was capable of given the time to heal and the right amount of encouragement. But you left before you figured it out."

"You can't just take our other daughter and continue on like we're not here" my dad claims.

"Why not? That's what I had to do when you left. And now that you feel sorry for yourself I'm supposed to feel any differently? Because I don't" I assure them.

"We're not leaving until you forgive us" my mom claims.

"I forgive you" I say and Jonny turns to me. He gives me one of those "are you serious" looks I get all too often. But I know what I said. "There's this quote that said that you should forgive others not because they deserve your forgiveness but so you can live in peace. And I can now that I've seen you again and know that you leaving was for the better. I'm not too good for you guys, that not what this is about. This is about me finally getting across the river you guys created for me and not having to look back being thankful I didn't drown. Forgiveness does not change the past but it changes the future. And in the future I will be successful not in spite of you. I will be everything I can be without you" I say.

"This can't be the end of us" my dad insists.

"The end was the second you decided to leave. This is just closure" I assure him.

"So we're supposed to act like you aren't our daughter" my mom quizzed.

"You've done it for five years. Just because I'm on tv now doesn't change anything. Now you'll just remember that you guys made a decision to give up instead of fight" I say.

And with that they turn on their heel and leave. I watch as they get in their car and take one last look at me. They pull off and I get the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. All the baggage was gone and I was free.

"So what now" Jonny asks and I smile.

"We keep moving forward into a future we can be proud of."