It's Not Enough.

Chapter 12

All I could do was groan while trying to pull myself deeper into my bed hoping maybe Nick would just disappear. It wasn't like I could really handle this in my current state, which was dead to the world.

"Hell no Zara. Get your ass up. You do not get to sleep while I stay awake dealing with your stupid mess," He yelled, his voice ringing out, sounding like he was yelling through a megaphone. Was his voice echoing or was it just me?

"Noo," I grumbled sleepily pulling my comforter farther over my head shielding me away from the light. My pillows formed against me. My bed accesories warping around me like a cacoon against Nick's unwelcomed words. Warmth enveloped me, darkness warped around me under my cotton shield dragging me closer into sleep that would eventually help rid me of the ache in my head.

"Fuck you Zara," He growled pulling my safety away leaving my body bare. It became bright, cold, and painfull all at the same time. Isn't light suppose to be warm? Then why the hell am I so fucking cold. It was like a bomb bew up in my head reeling in an unealthy amount of pain. Veins in my head throbbing.

"Fuck Nick!" I barked pushing myself into my pillows trying to shield my eyes from the light. Trickles of goosebumps edged on my skin forcing me to flip over and fight for my warmth. I grasped desperatly at my comforter trying to wiggle it from Nick's grasp but it was no use, his grip was to strong, and I was in no shape to try and fight. My body plopped back against my mattress trying to snuggle into what's left of my bed.

"No get up! Do you now how long it fucking took for Travis and I to pry the guys off of that piece of shit of a person we call Rodge?" He asked rhetorically. The memories of last night, sadly, hadn't been completely lost in the drunken spree I went on. Everything that happened; drinking excessivly, kissing Rodger, Ryan's attack, Adam and Skylar, even my fatal fall down the stairs. It was all clear as day once I got past the pain of my hangover making every thought feel like I'm taking a needle to the head.

"God my head hurts," I mumble. Instinctually my fingers rubbed at the side of my head trying to push the pain away.

"Come on Zara sit up, eat." He instructed. With a gentle pull Nick helped me into a sitting position where I leaned back gently against my head board. A familiar, intoxicating smell rafting from the McDonalds bag that Nck shoved in front of me. No words were shared while I ripped open the bag and ungracefully piled fries into my mouth.

"So after I took my graceful dive into unconciousness what happened?" I mummbled through a full mouth of greasy delights earning me a gentle smile from my morning tormentor. Nick played with his long slender hands, twisting them together while he sat at the end of my bed.

"You fell down pretty hard and in that moment everything went into chaos. Adam and Gavin wouldn't even look away from you while Ryan and Taylor were trying to rip Rodger's throat out. Travis and I had to rip Ryan and Taylor from Rodger, we had Jake drag Rodger out of the room. Then we were all freaking out because we thought you had a concussion," He admitted. Before I could even speak I had to swallow down the giant bite of burger I was chewing.

"If you thought I had a concussion then why didn't you bring me to the hospital?" I questioned warily. The half of a burger and remaining fries didn't look as appetizing anymore the moment the hospital popped into my head. It took me a moment to stop the bile from rising in my throat.

"We know how much you hate that place. We would never bring you anywhere near there unless necessary. So we had Preston's cousin April whose studying to be a nurse check you out and she said you didn't have a concussion just that the alcohole finally took it's toll," Nick explained. I breathed a sigh of relief at my friends reassurance. I had such amazing friends.... I truly didn't deserve them.

All I did was cause trouble. I made problems and the boys went out of their way to fix them. I was a burden. I was a burden to these boys, just like I was to Kam and Ally.

"What's with that look?" Nick asked. It was obvious he was worried in the way his eyes scanned over my face. Maybe it was stupid for me to worry so much about this but I couldn't help it.

"What look? I don't have a look?" I defended openly throwing all of the food back into the bag and placing it on my bedside table. Nick was to observant and I don't appreciate it.

"Yes you do, and I wont say anything but if you are thinking about THEM I won't ask, Just know we love you baby girl ok?"

I just nodded in response. Nick patted my leg gently a sad smile playing on his lips.

"Well let's go. All the guys are downstairs and you have some explaining to do," Nick chirped annoyingly. Another groan from me. He just rolled his eyes at me, giving me that look that said 'you-won't-be-skipping-out-on-this-so-suck-it-up.' Even my groans of protest didn't seem to stop Nick from pulling me out of bed and dragging me down the stairs.

"No Nick please! I'm too hungover for this," I whined deperatly. The roughness of his hand on my wrist tightened slightly telling me without words that I was doing this now whether I liked it or not. Instead of trying to fight his hold I decided to plop my entire body down on the ground hoping to slow him down. In the end it just ended up making him frustrated yet amused.

"Zara move your lazy ass!" Nick yelled yanking against my wrist. I winced slightly but continued to fight. My other hand reached up to pull at his hand to make him lose his grip. This little plan of mine probably would have worked if it wasn't for the fact that the floor in the hallway and the stairs were wooden so my jeans that I fell asleep in last night just slipped slowly along the floor.

"No Nick Stop!" I argued. When Nick decided to keep pulling me, ignoring my command, I decided that 'All is fair in love and war.' I pushed myself up off the floor using my feet only enough to bring my mouth to his hand where I licked his hand then bit down aggressivly.

"Fucking hell Zara! You're not a fucking Vampire!" He yelled angrily at the same time as he let me go. My ass hit the floor with a painful thud but I didn't waste any time to whimper I just pushed myself off the floor and turned to run back in the opposite direction. The goal was to reach my bedroom and lock the door behind me before Nick could reach me.

I was going to make it. There was no doubt in my mind. nick may be fast but I was speeding down the hall back to my bedroom, my feet slamming against the wooden floor with loud thuds of agression. It may seem like I was being dramatic but when I was in trouble with the boys I would never hear the end of it and right now I just wasn't in the mood.

"Gotch you," A husky voice breathed into my ear the same time Nick's strong arms wrapped almost protectivly around my waist pulling me towards him. His chuckles carried through the house as he proceeded to carry me down the stairs ignoring my whines or protest. All he did wa laugh.

The moment we hit the stairs I knew I was doomed. All the boys were already gathered. None of them wore anything close to a happy expression. I already felt my self slinking back against the stairs hoping it would swallow me up in a protective barrier. Sadley it didn't.

The boys proceeded to yell all at once.

"Rodger are you fucking kidding me!"

"I was gonna kill him!"

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I'm still gonna kill him!"

"We were freaking out!"

"You could have been seriously hurt!" All of their shouts morphed together making who said what practically indistinguishable. They continued to yell and yell, eventually even Nick joined in from his place behind me on the stairs. I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes at them. Right now they were acting like my parents.

It was so unfair. They could go out and have all the fun they wanted but the moment I let loose and go a little wild World War 3 breaks out. Boys, I scuffed to myself. Finally I came to the point where I was sick of listening to them, even though they weren't quite done yelling, to the point where I pushed through them. I made my way to the living room and carelessly threw myself across the couch.

Maybe if I'm lucky I could bury myself so far into it. I could be rid of them. But in reality I could never get rid of these boys. They are my family. They are my life.