It's Not Enough.

Chapter 18

"Gavin!" I yell after my leather clad friend. I ignored the annoyed glances from the other students who seemed extremely annoyed that I was yelling at 8 in the morning. The curly haired boy turned, brown eyes meeting mine. I smiled at him when I finally reached him.

"Hey where have you been you sly tom cat, I've missed you," I encouraged but he didn't smile. We walked on without almost a word which frightened me. Gavin was normally the silent brooding type but he was never this silent with me. I nudged Gavin playfully with my shoulder ,"What's wrong?"

Those brown eyes grazed over my face for just a moment, an unreadable expression dominating his eyes, before returning his gaze to the floor. I felt the frown form on my face. Adam was walking down the hall and I gave him a worried look then nodded over at Gavin whose gaze remained on the floor. He just shrugged his shoulders and continued down the hallway without another word, leaving a silent Gavin with me. 

"Gavin... What is.."

"Look I have to go Zara I'll see you in class," And with those words he was gone, disappearing within the groups of people. I stopped for a moment completely dumbfounded. 

Gavin continued to ignore me for the rest of the day. His eyes never glanced my way during class, he didn't meet me at my locker, and I was really starting to worry I had done something wrong. Or maybe it wasn't even about me. I couldn't be sure. Gavin had his own things to deal with just the like the rest of the boys, just like me. 

By the time lunch rolled around I was practically shaking with worry when none of the boys were at the table. It was normal for Travis to remain in the lunch line longer than anyone else because he normally got into a spat with one of the lunch ladies over whatever 'pile of goop' as Travis likes to call it, they were serving us that day. Personally I never really minded the food. I mean at least someone made it right?

That being said it wasn't really normal for any of the other boys to be missing. There was always at least one of them there, always. But today it was like an image out of an old western movie, dry depriese scurrying across a deserted plane. 

Instead of taking a seat at the table by myself I went looking for any sign of the guys. Travis wasn't in the lunch line which was extrememly weird. So I exited the lunch room and decided tp check other places. 

I couldn't find them in the boys locker room, yes none of the boys gym class were really happy with my sudden appearence. Nor did I find them in either of the boys bathrooms, which happened to be empty at the time of my arrival. After checking four different classrooms, outside on the lawn where a lot of kids decide to chill during free time or lunch, and one of the storage closets where most couples go for a little tonsal hockey before class I couldn't find them anywhere. Finally I just decided to check the music room.

Most students aren't allowed in the music room. Mr. Langster, the music teacher, who had once been a member to a really popular beetles cover band called Scratched Record, had made that rule up after finding a few freshman last year reasy to have at it on a new drum set he just invested in for the classroom. After that moment he decided the room was off limits unless granted his permission. Of course I figured Gavin could be in here considering he is literally Mr. Langster's favorite student. It's always 'Gavin demonstrate this for us please," or "If Gavin can teach himself how to play four different instruments by the age of 15 I think you lot can learn how to strum a few cords by the end of a semester." 

When I entered the room a familiar strumming of a guitar echoed through out the customized room. It was a large circular room padded to create the perfect accoustic sound possible. It had only one set of double doors opaquied to make it hard to see through. Chairs and music stands were set up in rows for the band and a large white board was set up on the wall across from the board. Instruments were set up in different corners all ranging from accoustic guitars to triangles no bigger than my hand. 

Inside the room Gavin sat with his back facing me strumming on his dark mahoganey accoustic guitar. I recognized the sound of the song before the lyrics filtered out of his mouth in the beautiful singing voice of his. It was chains by Nick Jones. 

I only stood there for a moment and listened. No one could ever really understand how powerful someone's words can be. The way Gavin plays with all of his heart and sings with every ounch of emotion he has is what makes him so amazing. But this time it wasn't just about singing the words, in a way it seemed like he was living them. Each words coming out in a breathy rasp of his voice unlike his normal carefree style singing. It was as if every word he said hurt him. 

The moment the song finally ended I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding. For some reason the way he was singing this song made a cold shiver filter through her body causing goosebumps to appear. My heart was beating painfully against my chest.. It almost felt as if it was Kam and Ally all over again. Like I was losing them once again. 

"Gavin," I forced outbut my words were barely above a whisper. Somehow Gavin still heard me and stopped himself from continuing with the knew song he was beginning to play. 

"Fuck!" Gavin jumped knocking over his music stand which brought a few innocent chairs along with it until they resulted in a heaping mess on the floor behind him. Gavin's body twisted towards me so fast he was almost a blue, his guitar hanging loosely from his hand. 

My heart stopped dead in that moment. It was as if the whole world was screaming at me not to look at him. They were telling me to ignore the pain in his eyes or the fear edged into the features of his chisled face. Or even how his chest puffed out under his white V-neck everytime he sucked in a nervous breath. 

Gavin had been trying to hide his feelings away in his songs. 

He was trying to hide his tears. 

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Hey guys,

    Sorry that it took me so long to update but I haven't had internet for a while now, but I'll try to update more frequently. 

Everything is going to make sense eventually. Everything will be revealed. I know it's all kind of confusing. And even the concept of so many boys at once can get a little overwhelming but it's all there for a reason. Each member is important. 

well thank you for staying with me lovelies. 

   Lots of love

       MX