If Only You Knew (Troyler Fanfiction)

Chapter 10: Shooting Stars

Troye POV

I couldn't believe it, it was amazing. All of the bright lights illuminating the dark sky, the rides that filled the otherwise empty field, the extravagant costumes the employees had on, it was all so perfect. I couldn't help but stare in awe at the sight in front of me.

"So do you like it?" Tyler just stared at the ground plying with his thumbs, how could I not love this place? It was absolutely amazing.

"Of course I like it! Tilly this place is amazing! Come on lets go in! Please please please!!!" I grab his wrist and start running into the carnival, I was so excited. I had never been to one like this. I didn't even know if they had stuff like this in Australia, I spent my days on Tumblr and waiting for Tyler to Skype me so I didn't really get out much.

"You're so cute Troye boy."

"Awe thanks Tilly, I think I'm cute too."

He just laughed at my come back, finally Tyler was getting back to normal. I didn't know what came over him in the car, we were always like that with each other, but tonight it was different. Usually when we flirted it was just for fun, but now it felt real. Does that mean I'm starting to like Tyler again? No, no it can't be that. I can't like Tyler. He's my best friend, and he would never go for me, I'm not his type. I'm nobody's type, I'm just ugly old boring me. Tyler would never like me, I don't blame him. I'm nothing special.

"Hey, hey Troye? Babe, what's wrong?" Coming back to earth I see a nervous Tyler staring at me with his eyes that were sparkling with the lights from the Ferris Wheel bouncing off them.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm totally fine Tilly. I was just thinking that's all." Faking a smile had become second nature, but Tyler seemed to buy my act. "Come on, let's go to the bumper cars!" It was just easier to pretend that I was fine and happy instead of having to explain everything. I didn't want people to pity me, I hated fake compliments.

When we got to the ride nobody was on line so we just waked right on. I had no idea how to drive this thing, it was so confusing. The wheel was on the opposite side and everything was backwards. I never expected it to be this hard to drive a simple bumper car.

The next thing I knew Tyler came up behind me and slammed into my car, almost knocking me out of it.

"That's it Tilly, I'm tired of your shit. This means war."

"Bring it Sivan."

For the next 10 minutes we were just circling around each other, catching the other off guard and slamming into each other. I never had more fun in my entire life. By the end of the ride all of my self-doubt had disappeared. I just wanted to be with Tyler, and I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of our perfect night.

After the ride ended and we got of Tyler started pulling me towards the Tilt-A-Whirl. It looked really scary, I hated spinning rides because I always got sick on them.

"Tilly I'm scared." I say, a little more dramatic than planned, I wasn't kidding. I was petrified of this little ride. I was such a loser, Tyler would never love me in a million years. I don't even know how I feel about him yet, but I know I have to avoid falling for him at all costs.

"Don't worry TroyeSivan, I'll hold your hand." I loved when he said my name like that. I felt a small hand grasp mine and squeeze tightly. Tyler made me feel safer, but I knew I couldn't depend on him. In the end he was going to leave me when he found a better friend. He didn't mean to but I saw how his personality worked. One week he loved Alfie, the next week it was Caspar, then Marcus, and now it was me. It was only a matter of time before he went after Joe.

I didn't want to think anymore, I just wanted to be happy. I knew there was only one way for me to be happy though, I needed to be with Tyler. But that would never happen. I wasn't worth his time, I wasn't worth anyones time.