If Only You Knew (Troyler Fanfiction)

Chapter 40: Messages

~1 Month Time Skip~

Troye POV

Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do, because letting go means forgetting. I didn't want to forget all of the memories I had with Tyler but I knew I couldn't keep holding onto them. Sometimes the thing that breaks you isn't letting go, it's holding on and having to face the fact that you're grasping onto thin air and at any second you're going to fall. I couldn't hold on any longer, so I did what I had to do. I let go.

I didn't choose to have my heart shattered by Tyler, but I did choose to walk away from him. I still don't know if that was the right decision or not. Sometimes I think to myself and I wonder why I ever spent any time with Tyler when there was a whole world full of opportunities right at my fingertips, but then other times I sit alone and a thousand memories come flooding back like a tsunami and I regret ever walking out of that apartment. I knew leaving was for the best, Tyler didn't need me anymore. And I didn't need him.

Sometimes people are just distractions, they cloud our vision and poison our thoughts until we become dependent on them. We feel like we can't live without them, but in reality it's the exact opposite. We can't live with them. Each day they slowly destroy us, but we don't even realize it because we're too consumed with the picture we have painted in our own heads. Tyler was my best friend, but I'm not sure if I was in love with him or if I was in love with the person I thought he was. Maybe I'll never get my answer to that question, but it doesn't matter. Tyler is gone and without him I'm finally free.

I don't know what I would be thinking about this whole situation if I didn't have Brad by my side. Even during the moments when I want to run back to Tyler and call him mine again just one glance in his direction can make me forget everything and just want to run to him instead. I see the way he looks at me and it's unlike anything I've ever experienced before. Each and every single time he looks at me it's like he's seeing me for the very first time. I can see him falling in love all over again, and at each glance I feel myself doing the exact same thing.

A small smile found its way onto my face as I stared at the computer screen in front of me. I found myself getting lost in my thoughts quite often, especially if they were about the beautiful boy I called mine. I put the laptop down onto the coffee table next to my phone and walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. Brad had gone into our room over two hours ago and he still hadn't come out. I had barley heard any noises from the room, other then what sounded like furniture moving a little over an hour ago. I just shrugged it off, he loved to redecorate and was always trying to find a place where we could fit a ping pong table. He really made no sense sometimes but that didn't stop me from falling harder for him every day.

"BABE COME QUICK!" I heard Brad scream from the bedroom and I dropped the glass I had in my hand as I heard the urgent tone in his voice. Without even thinking I ran across the floor, not even bothering to avoid the shards of glass on the black and white tiles. I made it to the door to the bedroom in record time and even with my incredibly awkward desperate run I managed to make there in one piece.

I pulled open the door and the room was pitch black. I searched frantically along the wall for the light switch, running my fingers along the rough surface of the paint on the wall until I felt the cold plastic of the switch. I quickly turned it on, squinting my eyes while I scanned the room intently searching for Brad to make sure he didn't get hurt. The light filled my eyes and created a glowing aura in my pupils as I tried to look around the room but I physically couldn't. After what felt like an eternity but in reality was only a few seconds my eyes adjusted to the light and my jaw dropped at the sight in front of my eyes.

Instead of seeing Brad hurt and lying on the floor I saw our bedroom had been completely transformed. In the spot where our bed used to be there was a small table with a white table cloth draped over it. On top of the table were two wine glasses with a bottle of Bourgogne Chardonnay and an unlit candle sitting in the center. The plain white walls were replaced with midnight blue wallpaper with small white stars scattered along the top and a cityscape on the bottom. Rose petals covered the floor and in the corner of the room there was a small replica of the Eiffel Tower.